Random Letters

Dear Celia,

Please poo in the potty. I know you like the potty. You pee in it all the time. It's not scary to poo there as well. I promise if you would just poo in the potty I would find you some awesome Diego panties. Also, if you could refrain from coloring on the walls, the tables, and the cats, that would be great too.


Dear Middle School Administrators,

If you have to have students working in the office, please teach them that "Uuuuuuuh Ummmmm" is not an appropriate response to any question. If this is too advanced for them, please send them back to English class. Also, if you could teach them how to work the phones before setting them loose on the public, hanging up or randomly transferring calls to the home ec room, that would be nice too.

Dear Chris,

Please stop sleeping in Celia's bed. You are enabling her bad sleeping habits. She will never sleep through the night alone if she knows you will come sleep with her. It makes it really hard for me when you are out of town. Plus, you are too big for her bed. You totally trash the covers. Instead of a 10 second flip the covers back up that I like to do, I have to take everything off and remake the whole darn thing. I know it only takes about 90 more seconds....but it's really putting a cramp in my morning.

Dear bacon and chocolate,

Please either stop tasting so good or being so bad for me. You are making me fat. Thanks.