Social Outcast

Have you ever had a dream so horrible that when you wake up, you feel like people looking at you must just know all about it?

I woke up this morning (after a mostly sleepless night anyway since Celia woke up a million times) from terrible dream. I still can't wear my contacts because my eyes are so dry and irritated. I got out of the shower and could barely squeeze into my jeans (due to the large amount of peanut m&m's I've been consuming in a feeble attempt to ease my emotional distress). Thank God for stretch denim and tunic shirts. My hair was also not cooperative.

Anyway, I somehow managed to get both kids out of the house fed, dressed, and with all necessary supplies for the day at 8:30 in the morning just so I could go to MOPS.....a messy haired, sleep deprived, bespectacled, my-butt-is-too-big-for-these-jeans, attempt to be a normal person for a few hours.

If the other mommies noticed, at least they were nice enough to say anything....but I spent the whole morning feeling like a complete social outcast.

This afternoon I just drag through the useless drudge of house cleaning and feel like a completely inadequate mom. Celia can't sleep either and has pretty much deteriorated into walking around the house crying for her dad (just like she did most of last night). Frankly, there's not a damn thing I can do to make her feel better. So we're just going to watch cartoons and cry until soccer practice...where I get to slip into the skin of a normal person once again and she gets to go play with a friend.

As a consolation, my therapist insists that I'm quite rational, sane, and normal. I'm thinking I should really have her write that one down next week.