Don't Face Facts, Face Faith.

This was one of Pastor Crabtree's points from his sermon this morning. It really spoke to me.

The sermon itself was about running the race of faith, using Hebrews 12 as a focal point. Basically, know that there will be hardship in your life. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that becoming a Christian makes your life all sunshine and roses. Nowhere does it promise endless health until the day you die. Being a Christian doesn't mean you are handed a "get out of hardship free" card.

In our search for a new church, this is something I'm very happy to hear. I've been in churches before where it is preached how God hates cancer, he hates suffering. If you just pray hard enough, if you are faithful enough, then you will be healed. I don't buy it. I just don't. God doesn't just hand out hardship as a punishment. (Not saying that doesn't happen, but it is certainly not always the case). There is a reason for everything. Sometimes it's clear what that reason is. I'm sure you've seen someone of great faith struggle in body with a disease, though their heart never wavers from their faith...and by being a visual example of faith, others are led to believe. Sometimes it's not clear. Tragic things happen every day for which no man can see a reason. But it's there........

Some times hardship is a discipline. Not necessarily a "you've been a bad boy, get to your room" discipline.....much as an athlete much be disciplined to hone their skills. They must work hard every day, avoid food or drink that will harm their body or take away from it's performance. It's hard, but they aren't being punished. They are being trained for the race they have coming up.

It's a pretty clear parallel. Sin is what we've got to avoid...it's harmful to our soul. The hardship is a form of conditioning...of training. It gets us in shape for our race of faith.

Also, the alter call was very laid back today. I like that. I know as far as alter calls go your can't make everyone happy all of the time. Some people like to see an alter call every single week. I mean the big, "If you want to accept Christ in your life you've got to stand up RIGHT NOW and walk down here in the front, in front of all these people looking at you, DO IT" type of alter call (often followed by the call for all followers to stand and come forward if "You want to receive the blessings Christ has for you or something that you feel like you have to stand for because, hey, who doesn't want that.....but you also feel like a sheep just following along with the crowd when it happens week after week with no conviction from anyone. my apologies on this run-on aside).

Anyway, it was pretty much, "If you are ready to take this step of faith with us, please come up here after service. We have some alter workers who would love to speak with you. If you're a follower and you are feeling discouraged, like a runner in need of hydration, please come down and we have some people to pray with you." Very laid back. No pressure, just a we're here with open arms kind of call. I like it.

Sometimes I feel like the big pressure type of alter call is exclusionary. I worry that maybe someone was sitting there, feeling called to Christ. That they prayed and confessed. And they just can't stand up in from of all these strangers shout out that they did it. I don't think that they need to (some people need to....I think the call to Christ is different for everyone). And I worry that then they'll start to feel "Hey, maybe I'm not really a Christian. I mean, I prayed that prayer, and I felt it in my heart.....but I just couldn't stand up and walk down there. Maybe this really isn't for me. I know lots of people will argue with me about it and say that standing up is the least someone can do.....but I'm thinking baby steps here. Some people need that.

I, for one, would never be able to do that. I mean, I was raised a Christian, so it's not like I need to accept Him...he's always been a part of my life. But I know there are other quiet, non-demonstrative people life me out there.

Soooooo.....how this whole sermon pertains to me. Well, the word "discouraged" came up about a zillion times. And I think if there's one word that can truly describe how I've been feeling lately that would be it. Very discouraged. In fact, if I hadn't had to rush off to the childcare room to get Celia (she got upset last week when mommies started arriving and she couldn't see hers, so I wanted to be early), I may have very well gone forward.....just to have someone else pray with me...which is something I rarely do. I'm talking once before in my whole life...while I was in the midst of awful, debilitating morning sickness. A very sweet woman held my head and prayed with me...in the teacher's break room at the school where I worked. And it did help....I went from laying there just unable to move from being so sick and not getting any nutrition for week to being able to drag my butt through the rest of my day....which is sometimes all you can ask for.

Also, for the past month or so when I've been distinctly miserable, as I pour out my heart to one of my closest friends, the theme of my argument has been, "I just need to face the facts that this is how it's just going to be. I need to become accustomed to the fact that this is how it's going to be forever and learn to live with it. I knew good and well that just because hubby became family oriented for a year before and a few years after the wedding that really he's a fickle work-a-holic, who becomes obsessed with one project after another. Everyone once in awhile I will be that obsession, but for the most part it's something else and he becomes completely emotionally (and occasionally proximally) distant and unavailable. The sooner I accept that fact and get on with my life, the better for us all."

She (my friend) is not the least bit happy with that argument. She always has a suggestion, some of them I'll try, some I'm just to discouraged to see the point of them and don't bother wasting time with. This is why I always say how strong she is, and how much faith she has....it's just always there. So I'm going to try this week...to not bog myself down with those "facts" and have faith that it will change and get better (even though I can't fathom how, when, or why).

And I'm going to tackle the sin thing. It's got to be anger....because I really did think and I really did examine myself, and that's all I can find. So that has to be it. The hard part it, most of it's in my head. I'm not walking around kicking people in the leg, flipping people off on the interstate, or screaming at cashiers. Most of it is just the constant, angry diatribe that plays over and over in my own head.....disguising itself as rationality. Just the past week I've really starting being short with the kids and not having patience, so that's one outward thing I can work on....but the rest is all inside. So how do you tell the thoughts in our own head to "SHUT UP"?