Baby Bliss

Well, my friend had her baby and I went to visit today. Oh she's cute!

Yes, I have a serious case of baby fever. I would SO love to have more babies......but there's this one little catch....I don't ever want to be pregnant again. That last time was awful! It's not the labor, I can do that (I have labors that are quick and easy....please don't hate me for it!) it's the 9 months of misery leading up to it that I want no part of.

Oh, and there the little fact that Hubby says, in no uncertain terms, that he's done. So we've agreed, each for our own reasons, that the two kids we have are plenty for us. Or course, we've taken to permanent steps to make sure that doesn't happen....but we aren't planning on it.

Most of the time I'm fine with it...until I see someone and their brand new baby. I need a pair of baby blinders to wear out in public or something. Something that guards me from their cuteness! Celia is no help either, with all this talk of her "baby sister".

Of course, there's also the fact that I won't ever have to do the sleepless nights, the diaper blow-outs, the colicky evenings again...that's helpful. And it won't be too much longer until I gain from freedom from my kids and get something of a life back.

See, I'm happy with the age difference in my kids. They don't fight a whole lot, there's no sibling rivalry.....but the negative of this is that I remember what it's like to have an older kid. How much easier it gets.

Because when you have a baby, your life changes so much that you really can't remember what life was like before kids. I can't....none of the moms I know really can. I mean, you can remember some of the things you DID, but exactly what in the world did you DO with all that TIME? No one knows.

Here's the thing though....when you kid turns about 4 or 5....you get some of that time back. First, they really get pretty good at cleaning up after themselves at that ages (and at not just being an eternal mess all of the time). They start getting into toys that amuse them for longer periods of time. Then they go to school. I remember that. The change from going to one kid to two kids is not as big as from none to one. We had 3 years where Jordan was in that "easy to care for big kid" stage before we had another baby again.

I remember that stage of life....when you only have to vacuum once a week. Or things stay clean for longer than 5 minutes. Or you aren't so frazzled that you can't remember what you had for breakfast, but you do know you haven't had time to pee for at least 8 hours. That's a nice place to be. And I'm almost there again.

So while I'm a little sad that I'll never have another bundle of love to call my own...I can be comforted in the joy of my own two (really awesome) kids and be a little secretly happy that with each passing moment, I get a little bit of myself back.