10 Reasons Why Today Can Bite Me

10. Celia ....for having a real, honest to goodness "Put me on stage and call me Paris" diva day.

9. Hubby's work, for calling every single second of every single day, not allowing him to sleep, eat, go to the bathroom, or otherwise participate in any family event because of their extreme incompetence.

8. My house...for being such a disaster

7. My family, for not noticing that I'm having a really hard time picking up after them while chauffeuring them around, cooking their meals, working, and scratching my legs off and not offer to help by picking up some of the crap around here.

6. Light Bulbs. Why must you burn out just after I've finished shopping for the week...and we are inexplicably out again?

5. Brownies....for not baking completely but looking to be fully done. So I didn't even know they were not cooked all the way until I tried to slice them to take to the swim meet (since I signed up to contribute those)...forcing me to call Hubby and beg him to buy some Little Debbie brownies to take. Humiliation of handing two boxes of Little Debbie brownies over to the concession stand lady.

4. Lightening. For making the powers that be cancel Jordan's first swim team practice after we stood around the crowded pool for 40 minutes waiting the storm out.

3. Hives. Geez I really itch. It's bad.

2. Steroids. Particularly after all the recent media concerning "roid rage". After getting a shot of steroids and being prescribed both a topical cream and oral steroids I'm a little afraid of turning into some Hulk-like character and harming my loved ones.

1. The State of WV. For finally putting that check I sent them months ago into the bank...you know, long after I forgot that they ought to be doing it.