Goodbye!

Well, it's official!

I've decided to do my blogging at WordPress now.

Same old blog, slightly different address....so if you've linked me, could you update your links to my Wordpress page now? Thanks!

Everyone else....just move right along!

Trying out something new..

...okay, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. All the cool kids are picking up and moving over to the Wordpress neighborhood, so I'm checking out some new digs.

Really though, what it comes down to is being able to print my blog (way back when I explained this..you know, Hubby's grandma and her journals and how I want to leave behind something for me kids to read and laugh about after I die, yada yada yada). I found out blogger doesn't work with companies that want to print and bind your blog, like all the others do.

Plus, I like 3 column templates. And I don't really "get" code. I'm sick of this vomit green hackjob that I've been stuck with.

So check out my wordpress page and tell me what you think. Should I stick with Blogger, or make the move?

(None of my links are over there yet, don't take it personally!)

What to do with this hair?!?

Alright, so I'm trying to grow it out. Growing your hair out is never easy. It's just not. And it goes through all these awkward "I don't know what to do with this" stages. Which is where I am now.

Thursday night I had the tv on (because I was actually watching 30 Rock and Scrubs) and this show came on...now, I've never been a big Posh Spice fan (sorry, you can put out all the upscale lines of clothing and act as snooty as you want, but once you've done something like the Spice Girls, your name will always be Posh...and that's not a good thing, just in case you weren't sure).

But I do love her hair. I think it's really cute....and unfortunately very trendy. I usually don't "do" trendy hair....but I really like it. And I read up on the internet and it's rated "easy to take care of" which is really important to me....since I don't have a stylist to follow me around while I strike random poses around my house like Mrs. Posh does.

Since my hair was already such an "I don't know what to do with it" wreck. I trimmed up the sides a little so it looked cleaner and a little more angled down like I want it to me. I thought it was an improvement.

The hubby barely noticed (he did have quite a day...which I'll probably blog about because I doubt he will) and when I showed him the pictures of how I want it to look eventually he gave me a look like I was insane (or stupid) and said "but her hair is a lot longer than yours".

Yeah it is genius. That's why I'm growing it out.

Jordan's comments were, "I don't like that tattoo. And you don't have blond hair".

I have no support around here.

I hate gum...

So does my husband. He hates it because he thinks it's a choking hazard. I hate it because it's nasty.

I think it started with the friend I had in high school. She had two habits that I just didn't understand: falling asleep with gum in her mouth, and forming attachments to random objects.

At least once a month she would call me crying, frantic because she had once again fallen asleep with gum in her mouth....and when she woke up the gum was all over the precious object of the week....the one she couldn't sleep or live without.

I don't know where her mom was in during all these gum fiascos. Maybe she was just as grossed out as I was and had previously washed her hands of the whole deal. But for whatever reason, I ended up being the go to person in removing gum.

And I hated it. It was nasty. And I don't care how long your freeze it, how much peanut butter you use, or what other miracle method you find....you can never truly remove gum from a teddy bear, a boyfriend's sweatshirt, or wubby. Why a 16 year old girl still needed a wubby was beyond me....but she still slept with it even after we couldn't get the gum off!

So when my oldest child went to school, and people started giving him gum....I was thoroughly grossed out. I don't like to hear the stuff being chewed. What's worse.....when you're done with it.....you have to do something with it. You have to spit it out.

Let's get one thing straight. I don't spit. Ever. Yuck. I don't like to watch people spit. Just seeing it is enough to make me gag.

So when my kids spits out gum, I want nothing to do with it.

I don't want anything to do with it when I find it on the floor BESIDE the trash.

I certainly don't want anything to do with it when I find it stuck to the wall. (to learn that it was stuck to the wall because DAD told him to put it there so they wouldn't have to pause the xbox to throw is away made steam come out my ears).

And I don't want anything to do with it when my kid comes to me because someone gave him the bright idea to put his gum behind his ear. You know, in his hair? The hair he was growing out last year. That was the final straw. No more gum in my house. He can have it when he's 18 and he moves out.

I still can't get away from gum though. On a recent outing with friends....the friends had brought along some bug spray for everyone to use at dusk. She pulled the bottle out of the bag and discovered her little girl had put her gum on the lid.....as a kind of holding spot for the gum. Everyone laughed and giggled as I retracted my outstretched hand and shied away from the contaminated spray.

It was rude, and I'm sorry.

But I can't help it.

I really hate gum.

And the Walls Came Tumblin' Down...

Ugh. If it's not one thing it's another around here.

I simply can not keep up with the deficit of home improvements that we've gotten behind on around here.

I had totally planned to start remodeling my kitchen (as soon as I finish the downstairs bath. If I ever finish the downstairs bath). It's ugly. Real ugly.

But in my massive frantic attempt to try and get my house to look like....well....a nice house....if was trying to scrub our old, faded shower surround back to white (not going to happen) and noticed something. Something bad. The shower surround is not quite bug enough. And the edges of the wall near the shower that get damp every time someone showers...well, they've started rotting away.

What the crap am I supposed to do about that? Well, I know what I'm supposed to do...I'm supposed to fix it. But WHEN am I supposed to do that? I can't even finish the bathroom I am working on! I spend an hour scraping dried grout off the shower floor tiles (I'm sure I've ranted about that somewhere.....but if I haven't let me just say, PLEASE, if you're going to tile anything, start wiping the grout off right away. Do not wait. It's bad.) until I had blisters all over my hands. It's getting there...but it's a very slow, frustrating project.

And I can't rip one bathroom up until I have the other completely functional.

Meanwhile, the wall slowly continues rotting away.

So I'm trying not to completely lose it....trying NOT to think about the boiler that needs replaced, the shingles that have blown off the roof. The gutters that need cleaned (and repaired). The window in the basement that is broken. The floors that are scratched and nicked. The yard that needs mown, the gardens that need weeded, the basement that is leaky, the paint that needs touched up in almost EVERY room, the gas log that won't work, and the fact that every single closet is a disaster that needs cleaned and re-organized.

Today, I'm just going to try and concentrate on removing the coupon that Celia shellacked to the floor with milk last week (so everyone will stop walking in the door and trying to pick it up. Don't you think if I could pick it up, I would?)...scrape some more grout, and try and complete the 40 or so reports that I'm already behind on this week.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game!

I've got to say, when Chris came home work last week with tickets to see the Charleston Power....I though he was off his rocker. I'm sorry, but a 2 year old at a baseball game sounds insane to me.

But I was surprised.....we actually had a very pleasant evening!

We had a ton of extra tickets....which I gave away to some very happy people before we went into the park. I love giving stuff away!

The park itself is new....and very nice! We found our seats (Chris insisted on sitting right on the 3rd base line.) I decided to go get food and drinks for everyone....I'm better at carrying precariously balanced trays of food. Chris is better at keeping baseballs from bashing the baby's face in. So that deal worked for everyone.

Since the only thing I know about baseball is that you're supposed to eat peanuts and CrackerJacks....that's what we got.

They also had frozen lemonade....which sounded great o me. Turned out, it was better than I could have ever expected. Celia was engrossed in eating her lemonade for AT LEAST 45 minutes. It was awesome.


Really, I need to learn to make this at home.


I could get a lot more stuff done if she had frozen lemonade all day.


She did get a little restless near the end, but I took her up to walk her around the walkway. She thought that was cool....and everyone thought she was cute. Since it was Friday the 13th, the park promotion was for the kids to come in costume and trick or treat on the field after the game. So she was wearing her Mermaid costume.

The trick or treat thing was almost a disaster. The kids all had to have pre-registered and had a special ticket! (They didn't put that anywhere on the website!) There were lots of angry parents, but since Celia and I had found the fan services area during our walk, we all just went over there, a lady gave us some tickets, and off the kids went to get candy.

After that, there were fireworks. We were mildly concerned....since Celia spend all of the 4th of July in the house avoiding fireworks, but she actually did really well. Buried her head in Chris's neck for the loud parts, but no crying at all ("Hey, there's no crying in baseball!" I know, the game was over, but I just had to say it!)

Adventures in Charleston...

This is the first of my three part blogging about our weekend. It's way too much to fit in a single post! At least with the time constraints I'm currently operating under!

So last week the hubby comes home with pile of tickets to a baseball game. The Charleston Power (minor league) and we started planning a trip. His company leases a rarely used apartment in town, so his boss gave him the keys and off we went.

About halfway there he says "Oh, I'm pretty sure the AC in the apartment won't be working....Boss had to call maintenance because there was a problem with it". Oh. Okay....well, it's not that hot anyway. Should be fine. "And I'm not sure that the cleaners have been in. Boss had his assistant call because he was worried that they hadn't been there in awhile". Erm...that's another story. But really, no one stays there. It's vacant most of the time. How bad could it be?

Well, first thing I did was check the sheets. No way am I sleeping on sheets that someone I don't know has slept on. They look....wrinkly. And they don't smell like fabric softener. So we rip those puppies off the bed and try to fit them in the teeny tiny washing machine. One. sheet. at. a time.

Now, keep in mind that my in-laws were joining us on this adventure. Since I have kids....my standards of cleanliness are lowered. I mean, my house isn't filthy...but there's usually stuff out and you can often find crumbs in one room or another. My mother in law....well, she hasn't had kids in the house for many years. Her house is always spotless (well, unless my kids are visiting to crumb it up...but even then it stays pretty clean). Therefore....if I'm appalled by the filth of the place.....you can guess that she's going to be WAY grossed out.

Being brave (and having to pee) I peeked in a bathroom, screamed "HOLY CATS" and ran the other way. It was bad. Real bad.

I became crystal clear that the cleaning service had indeed totally punked out on their duties...and I really hope the Boss hadn't been paying someone to clean....because if so, he was getting majorly ripped off.

Hubby thought I was over-reacting, so I sent him in to check things out. He starts explaining that the Charleston water is bad (ha, compared to Fairmont?) and peeks around the door. He shrieks his manly version of "HOLY CATS" and also runs the other way.

I brandished a toilet scrubber at him and sent him back in. I think he scrubbed the tub with it first. It was that bad.

So the two of us cleaned like mad people to get it looking some kind of livable before the in-laws showed up (though honestly, it was still pretty bad when they got there) and I made a mad dash to the mall (did I mention Celia peed through her PullUp while napping on the way down....and I'm so bright I only packed dresses instead of more pants).

I went out just in time to meet the in-laws, apologise in advance for the stench of the hallway (the neighbors had their garbage out there!!! What kind of crap is that?) and the over all condition of the apartment.....and have a discussion with the lady that apparently lives downstairs about over what MIGHT be dripping in her apartment. I don't know lady, I've been here for 15 minutes. Call maintenance, will ya?

So, mad dash to the mall. Luckily, I walked in the door of Macy's and found super sale. I grabbed some pants (and a cute Hello Kitty shirt.....sorry, but the pants didn't match the ones she had on. I had to do it!) and ran to the only open checkout on that floor.

Which was staffed by a 92 year old woman. Who was methodically slow about , removing from hangers, checking for sensors, folding, wrapping in paper, and bagging each of the 92 items the lady in front of me was buying (not that I blame her, it was a great sale!).

20 minutes later....mad dash back to the apartment, dump the girl in her new clothes (which she proclaims "beautiful"...thank you baby) and we're off to the baseball game! (More on the game later)

We didn't get back until very, very late. Part of the problem was that we needed milk. You can't buy milk in downtown Charleston at midnight. You just can't. We had to drive all the way down Kanawa Blvd to an Exxon where someone handed me milk though a pull out drawer. The hubby wouldn't even get out of the car because he was convince someone out "bust a cap at him". I reminded him that as an uptight, white yuppie.....he should just say "shoot me" to avoid sounding like an idiot.

So the next day we had a leisurely breakfast at Starbucks, had some fun in the city (more on that later too) and headed back to the apartment for a cleaning spree.

It took Chris and I about an hour and a half to get that apartment spic and span, sparkly clean. I started thinking about getting a smaller place then and there. No WAY could we do that to our house!!!

Once we had it all clean....boy it looked nice. Classy. The Boss has really good taste in furniture. No clutter anywhere.

So I came home from a very nice trip with an unhealthy case of envy and a desperate need to throw out ever piece of clutter in my life, to deep clean and re-organize every shelf, closet, nook, and cranny in my home.

See you in November.....


P.S. On the way home, we stopped for gas and Chris fell over himself trying to get away from this dead bug. Then he fell all over himself trying to gross me out with it. Please , please, please, for the love of all things good and pure, tell me that this thing was a stow away from Florida and arrived in our state already dead or something. If we have bugs like this here in my pleasant mountain home......I may have to move.

My Life - Soundtrack by the Beatles.

Okay, I know with the volume of Beatles music, really, ANYONE could create a soundtrack to their life. But since my kids are so into it (that and freaking Rhinocerous Taps...and if I have to listen to that crappy cd one more time I'm going to drive off the overpass. Not really, but I hate that cd)....and we listen to the Beatles a lot........and I tend to be introspective while driving the car....there you have it. My life, by the Beatles.

So a few weeks ago it was Lady Madonna.....today was Help.

Which is kind of odd...because I had a pretty good day. Busy, but alright.

But we were out of the house all morning. Shopping (but not spending much money) and having an all around good time. I was really dreading coming home though.

The house is trashed. I just can't keep up with being a mom to my kids, driving Jordan to all his various things, shopping for the family, my new job, getting myself to the doctor, and keeping the house clean. So if something's got to go undone...it's the house.

Hey, I figure the laundry and toys will still be here tomorrow. And my kids don't seem to mind the clutter...

Anyway....Help is a very good song for that kind of thing. Because I remember (when I was younger so much younger than today) having one kid, who happened to be in school all day. Only having to vacuum once a week. To clean the kitchen once a day. To do laundry every week in a half.

It's not that the little one is so messy (well, I mean, she kind of is) but while I'm busy chasing her and cleaning up after her and trying to figure out where she put my glasses.....I can't...umm....gently remind....the boys to clean up their crap.

It's a mess around here...and I hate it.

So HELP, I need somebody, help, not just anybody. Help, you know I need someone....HELP!

Squatting in the Parking Lot

Something in your life really changes when you start carrying an extra pair of someone else's panties in your purse....just in case.

No, my toddler hasn't started taking Alli. But when you have a newly potty trained toddler, you don't leave home without an extra pair. Let me tell you why...

My little girl has an aiming problem. She can sit all ladylike on the potty and shoot pee straight out onto the floor... (oh, the google hits those words will bring....go away you nasty pervs. There's nothing here for you here).

So we're at a really awesome church function, and the girl's gotta go. So we go.

I take her to the ladies room. I cover the automatic flush sensor with paper before she goes near the potty, because no one likes it to flush while they're sitting there. Especially my anti-loud-flush toddler.

We cram ourselves into the teeny tiny stall and she gets settled and starts to go.

The pee immediately shoots straight out, right at me. I squeal and jump out of the way, she screams and falls in the toilet.

That's right, my little sweetie in the toilet.

So she's screaming because her butt is in the toilet, there pee on the floor, pee on her skirt (thankfully, no pee in the toilet where her butt it).

I'm trying to tell her it's okay, it's going to be okay, while trying to get her out of the toilet.

Which is when I realize I left my purse (along with that emergency change of clothing) in the sanctuary. In the front of the sanctuary.

So I pulled her little skirt back on (because I had nothing else to do) and she duck walked back to the front of the sanctuary to get the dry clothes, then back to the bathroom to put them on.

Then we had a discussion about how she needed to finish peeing. No WAY was she going near that toilet. She tried to convince me that she'd just hold it until we got home. Well, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

So we came to a compromise...

I took her out the in the parking lot and we hid between a Suburban and a mini-van so she could finish the job.

I've got to get a travel potty.

Going Green

The M household has become very (okay, slightly more) environmentally friendly as of late.

It's not that I'm worried about global warming....I think that's a bunch of bunk. But I'm all for preserving the environment (and not paying Allegheny Power out the whazoo).

So we've started replacing all our light bulbs with those super trendy, low energy, twisty twirly ones. I'm really into not changing a light bulb for 8 years. (Don't lecture me on the whole mercury thing. I've done my research and weighted the options).

Then, I decided to use re-usable shopping bags when I shop. Actually, I just needed a reason to buy these at IKEA. Aren't they the coolest bags ever?!? So no more of those plastic bags for us!

Then today, the kids decided to take the comforters and everything off the beds (instead of just the sheets, but hey, they did take the sheets off too!). Since it was supposed to be blazing hot...we decided to wash it all! Just wash it all and hang everything outside to dry...so by mid-morning everything that doesn't move on the porch and backyard was draped in sheets, comforters, and towels. We were very country. Very down home. Very environmentally friendly.

I feel almost like a hippy now! I mean, I haven't really shaved my legs since these hives won't go away. I even took my bra off (well, okay....I usually don't wear one around the house....and since that stinking doctor didn't call my back with a new appointment to get these hives looked at ...again....so I figured, what's the point of wearing one). Now we're hanging laundry in the yard!

So anyway....we spent the morning out in the yard. The kids ran around, hiding in sheets and towels. They played in the baby pool, ran in the sprinkler. Jordan and I sat in the shade and read books. It was great.

Valley Falls and Frisbee Golf

The boys have a new hobby: Frisbee Golf. I don't know why George Costanza's "Frolf" didn't catch on as a name....but apparently, this is a real sport. We went to the sporting goods store and bought real discs to throw and everything. The .50 frisbees I found at Target just didn't cut it for this highly competitive game.

Anyway, between rounds of Frolf (as I will now be calling it), I drug the family to Valley Falls. It was a beautiful day on Saturday, but we didn't have time to go far. So I fed the troops some dinner and stuck them in the car.

After trekking back to the bathroom once, we finally crossed the train tracks (still active, one of my favorite parts of living in WV. I love the sound of the trains. Of course, we live across the river and up the hill....so the train sounds we get are pleasant.)



Then past the site of the old grist mill. Incidentally, that's just a fancy name for a place to grind grain into flour. Why couldn't they just call it that so I wouldn't have to google it?



Since we just got a considerable amount of rain, the falls were up a little. That means some fast, serious water. I gave the boy a good talk about how you don't even mess with water like that (swimming used to be allowed at the falls....but people died to often and now it's not. Still, every few years someone will fall in or slip on the rocks....and the outcome is never good).

Also....will someone please tell everyone to stop sending my husband shirts like this? It's bright yellow and says "ABC Affiliates are Great". Please, just send him a polo shirt please. The man will be a walking advertisement to anything....so let him do it in style.



Even Jordan sat still for a few minutes in awe of all that powerful water.



Man, that's some serious water.



Then we had to feed the geese. On the way out the door I discovered that the stale bread I'd been saving was looking a little....erm, green. In my panic (since I already told the kids we'd feed the geese) I grabbed a pack of stale tortillas and prayed that geese like tortillas.

They do. Even when a toddler lobs huge chunks in the water like some kind of edible frisbee.



Then we had to play on the swirly slide.




Then for my favorite (and my husband's least favorite) part of the evening: adventure and exploration!

When I was in college I used to picnic with a group of sorority sister (an academic one, FYI). Once, one of the girls promised she knew where a swimming hole (not in the dangerous falls river) was, and we hiked to it. I'm afraid that we hiked on the train tracks (umm, a bit of a no-no) so I wasn't about to break the law with kids in tow. We set off on the Rhododendron Trail which runs parallel to the tracks and the river. I figure we ought to at least be able to find it that way.....but I was pretty sure it was quite a hike.

In any case, we set off. Chris was convinced the trail was covered with snakes or bears and soon had the boy convinced of the same. We had to stop for a toddler pee-pee break and Celia managed to pee all over MY pants (but not hers). Finally, I got worried that my little girl might get tired (we didn't have the jogger stroller, so she was hiking too) and I didn't' want to go farther than I could piggy back her back, if need be.

She did quite well, though I did piggy back her just to get us out of there faster since the boys were having a complaining contest and getting on my last nerve. I can't wait to get the bike trailer so we can ride farther up the trail and maybe find that swimming hole.

And if any of my long lost Sigma Alpha Iota sisters are out there.....can you clue me in on how far it was....and what to look for to find it?

The Emperor's New Clothes

Everyone who has ever been to my house knows that I love IKEA. And I've discovered that as far as IKEA goes, it's a love or hate relationship. There's no middle road.....

Well, last year for my birthday the Hubby and I borrowed a big ole truck and drove up to IKEA to purchase our first ever brand spankin' new couch. Since I had just painted my living room a beautiful (but impossible to match) shade of sage....I got a white couch and chairs.

I loved them. Everyone thought I was nuts for white furniture and kids...but such is the beauty of IKEA. You zip the covers off then throw them in the washing machine. They've been smeared with chocolate, colored on with pen, and had varies types of milk leak on to them.

I went through a very trendy monochromatic "everything but the sage walls must be black and white" thing.....and loved it.

But I'm kind of over it. Plus, I got new paint for the kitchen which is a slightly more grey shade of green. I've read that green shades are good for kitchens and you won't eat as much (must work only in the kitchen, because I've had no problem eating in the green living room)! Plus, the paint was only $5 a can.....and I'm getting frustrated trying to find accessories that match with sage.


Oh , and mom my was visiting...and we love to shop. Especially at IKEA. She mentioned last time she was up that she was driving this time so that she could be a few more things. So I started planning, and saving.

Because that's the other great thing about IKEA. For not very much money, I can buy all new couch and chair covers and it looks like I have brand new furniture. So that's exactly what I did.


Here's my new couch:


And the chairs:



And some fancy pillow covers to go with it:
Instant new look. Now if I can just get around to painting the living room that yellowy-gold that umm....it used to be before I painted it green, I'll be all set.

Oh, and my other big plan is to photoshop some pictures of the kids to look like comic book prints, blow them up, and put them on the wall. Very pop-art. I'm into pop-art now, having left monochromaticism behind.

You're Out of Touch

I am at least.

Since Jordan has started swim team this summer, and I need to entertain my toddler there for an hour every day, Celia and I have done some exploring at Fairmont State.

Fairmont State is my alma mater. I enjoyed the school, I'm happy with the degree I got there. But I'm not calling it a University. It's just too pretentious. I can't do it. So I simply call it just Fairmont State.

I knew we were in trouble the very first day....the road that I used to take to the Feaster Center (where swim team is held), well, it just doesn't go there anymore. In fact, NO roads will take you through the middle of campus.

They will take you right to the new parking garage. However, you must not park there. (Unless you're a student, with an ID). You can get in....but you can't get out. I discovered this little gem about two years ago when I needed to take a grad course for continuing education (a teacher requirement). I found a very nice online class to take, but needed a professor's signature once. So I loaded up my newborn in her infant seat and off we went. I was very happy to put my car in that brand new garage and not have to fight for parking spaces anywhere. It was great.

Since I only had to go quickly in once building, I didn't take a stroller or anything, just that infant carrier. Anyone who's had one knows they are heavy...so you don't lug them around far. In typical Fairmont State style I had to lug her in that carrier to 3 different buildings! Then back to the garage. Where I found I couldn't get my car out until I walked all the way back across campus to the security office and purchased tokens to get out.

Why not put a money thingy on the gate to get out so you could just feem money in there? It makes too much sense.



So back to the here and now...Celia and I have been exploring the new and improved campus.

First stop was the new student activities center. She saw a shiny new building and begged to go in, so in we went. The song playing on the building -wide muzak system wall "You're Out of Touch". Was I ever!

Huge expanses of basketball courts, as fas as the eye can see. A student version of Barnes and Noble, trendy couches and chairs. A new Nickel....that looked just wrong. I wonder what they've done with the old one? A state of the art fitness center. A brand new pool (not for competition swimming). I felt very out of touch....and out of place. Especially since all this was just built on to the back of Colebank Hall.

For some reason, they really like doing that. The new building they are working on it being buit right on top of the tech wing of Wallman Hall. On top? And we always joked that the whole building was sliding down the hill. But I guess they know what they are doing.

Regardless, a few new buildings does not a University make. So if it's alright with you, I'll just continue calling it Fairmont State and leave the University off (since it's no longer acceptable to call it a college).

This is how we have a party!

First, get yourself some cheap slave labor to create some party decorations...



These kids (and their friends) work quite well!



Put the decorations on the porch.



Make yourself some party food. This is the cake I make every year. Cliche? Yes. But I like it. I also made Rachel Ray's BBQ Sammies.....but I put way to much salt in....they were salty. I still ate one. But not many other people did. Look, I'm still a nice person, even if I can't cook!


Here's the point in the party when the rain came. Everyone retreated in the house to play (the grownups played Wii, the kids just played). I stole someone's baby and took it to my favorite place and rocked until said baby was asleep. Ahhhh, sleeping baby bliss.....

About dark the rain went away and my husband had to try and set the house on fire, like he does every hear (try, not succeed!). I was actually kind of hoping he would burn the playset down. I've been wanting a new one but just can't seem to justify getting one. A fire would fix that. Darn rain.



Then daddy had to apologise to his little girl. She's no fan of fireworks and dad scared the crap out of her. She was more than a little unhappy about dad playing with fire.



Finally I broke out my large collection of glowing jewelry for the kid to run around the yard with while waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the city fireworks (we've got a primo view). Yes, there are children in this photo.....somewhere....


Finally, after all the guests had their cars loaded up, the fireworks started. Very sporadically.

Little hint for next year to the boys at the City of Fairmont....keep the fireworks dry. They light better that way.

Rollin' on the River

Some friends invited us to join them for the day on their boat (on the Tygart Valley River)...well, who can say no to that!?!

We were a little worried at first when Celia strongly protested getting in the boat, but once we started moving, she really enjoyed herself.

So did Jordan. He and his little buddy spent a bunch of time in the tube (please excuse my sad job at making other people's kids look anonymous). There was many an attempt made to knock them out of the tube (they were a little too full of themselves for their own good) but those little buggers managed to hold on through even the twistiest turns and bumpiest bumps.



Once we found a little beachy area to park (dock, whatever) Celia got out of the boat to have fun. First, she has a swim with dad. She's Mrs. Independent, "I can do it myself"!



Then she had to take a little break and sit in the tube to eat a cookie. That's right, she's eating a cookie in the river.


After awhile she talked mommy into coming out to swim and sit in the tube with her. I discovered that chilly river water works wonders for itchy hives. In fact, it made me feel so much better I told Chris I'd hike back down to the river later if I got desperate. Then I figured out that a cold bathtub would do the same thing....without the river smell!


Some other boat people stopped by, with their dogs. Both dogs had their own little doggy life jackets. Celia was in toddler heaven watching those dogs swim around and chase sticks. how long do you think it takes to dry all this fur out?


Celia also discovered how much she loves cherries....once dad showed her how to eat them.


Jordan spent much of his time playing with the campfire. He toasted cheese puffs and pepperoni rolls. It was gross. Then they doused the fire with 72 buckets of water (Smokey the Bear says "Only YOU can help prevent forest fires!") so that no one will be able to light a fire in that pit again for at least two weeks.


We had a ton of fun and now Chris really wants a boat. Play the lottery, hon!

10 Reasons Why Today Can Bite Me

10. Celia ....for having a real, honest to goodness "Put me on stage and call me Paris" diva day.

9. Hubby's work, for calling every single second of every single day, not allowing him to sleep, eat, go to the bathroom, or otherwise participate in any family event because of their extreme incompetence.

8. My house...for being such a disaster

7. My family, for not noticing that I'm having a really hard time picking up after them while chauffeuring them around, cooking their meals, working, and scratching my legs off and not offer to help by picking up some of the crap around here.

6. Light Bulbs. Why must you burn out just after I've finished shopping for the week...and we are inexplicably out again?

5. Brownies....for not baking completely but looking to be fully done. So I didn't even know they were not cooked all the way until I tried to slice them to take to the swim meet (since I signed up to contribute those)...forcing me to call Hubby and beg him to buy some Little Debbie brownies to take. Humiliation of handing two boxes of Little Debbie brownies over to the concession stand lady.

4. Lightening. For making the powers that be cancel Jordan's first swim team practice after we stood around the crowded pool for 40 minutes waiting the storm out.

3. Hives. Geez I really itch. It's bad.

2. Steroids. Particularly after all the recent media concerning "roid rage". After getting a shot of steroids and being prescribed both a topical cream and oral steroids I'm a little afraid of turning into some Hulk-like character and harming my loved ones.

1. The State of WV. For finally putting that check I sent them months ago into the bank...you know, long after I forgot that they ought to be doing it.

If you thought I was schexy before...

....well, let me just say that my little retainer is NOTHING compared to the sight I currently am!

Standing in the kitchen in a hot pink t shirt that reads "Mrs. M's Pink Panthers" (ah, middle school intermurals) with most of my legs covering in a very goopy baking soda paste. You can't sit down with this stuff, because it crackles and falls off, making a big mess. Which is why I'm standing in the kitchen in the first place.

And it's not even working. My legs STILL itch like you wouldn't believe. Benedryl cream doesn't help. Fingernail polish and scotch tape don't help. The RX hydro cortisone cream I found in the medicine cabinet doesn't help.

It appears I've been attacked by a very hungry spider. At least that what one of my nurse friends thinks....I had to drag her into the ladies room and church and make her check out my increasingly nasty legs. She was happy to inform me that it was spider bites. I was just happy I didn't have to stick around Vacation Bible School and scratch my legs while wearing a foam cowboy hat (like she was...only she wasn't scratching).

I finally gave up, threw on some pajama pants and vigorously rubbed my legs while begging my husband to bring me more ice for them (the only things that provides just a little relief).

Isn't he a lucky guy? Gets to go to bed with an itchy, retainer wearing wife who reeks of many different experimental itch relievers that don't work.....

Oh yeah....and while proofreading this post he found a typo that made me laugh so hard that my tea came out my nose and all over half the living room. It was bad.

Plus I made him help me free the furry captive from the garbage can this afternoon.


Here he is again...not happy that I woke him up from his comfy nap on the PullUp. He's getting ready to run.... (~gag~ do you see that tail? blech!)


Here I am....armed with the broom. Also ready to run.



So I knocked the can over and that nasty bugger wouldn't come out. Look at him in there cowering beside that toothpaste box.......



So I made Chris get in there and coax him out of there with the broom. He eventually got him out....and he ran right toward me (cowering on the porch). The he ran on my elderly neighbor's porch. We chased him off there and haven't seen him since. (The possum, not my husband. He then went golfing and came home watch Big Love.)




Don't you remember that part of the wedding vows, honey? Through possums, spider bites, tea out the nose, and nightly mouth guards.........

Alright Nature, Enough Already!!!

I live in town because I don't want to deal with these things...so can you lay off?

Seriously. I woke up Saturday with a very itchy leg. I thought it was pretty gross that something had been crawling around my pajamas and bit me...but that kind of thing sometimes happens. After the itchyness persisted on Sunday I discovered....well...it's gross. Really. And I promised not to gross you out for at least a month, but I'm going to have to break that promise.

My whole leg is covered in some sort of bites. It is the nastiest thing EVER. I kind of hoped it was a rash of some kind....but we're pretty sure it's bug bites. I don't want to even think about the type of insect, so you don't need to suggest what it was.

So now it's Tuesday. I've used all the Benedryl cream (which didn't do crap!) and have tried painting them with fingernail polish (also nothing). Next I'm trying putting deoderant on them, and if that doesn't work I'm trying vinegar. (These are all tried and true things I've read on the internet. If you can read it on the internet, it must be true).


Then this morning I go out to drag the trash cans to the curb (what's that you say? taking out the trash is a man job? why yes, yes it is.....) and found this:


I started to drag the can before I saw him in there...so needless to say, he's not so happy. I'm waiting until the Hubby gets home before tipping the can and running. I have a large fear of him eating my face off and my kids left to fend for themselves all day.

Since Hubby took the camera to work today, capturing this shot was achieved by tiptoeing out there with my MacBook, gently extending the thing over the can, and clicking the mouse.

No wonder me neighbors don't speak to me.

One Schexy Mama

So, a few months ago I'm at the dentist. The sweet little hygienist is fawning over my teeth, how she can tell I floss a lot, blah, blah, blah, she's praising me and I love it. Then my very nice dentist comes in and echos the praises over my dental health.....then he says "hmmm".

You know it's not good when they say that.

"Rebecca, do you grind your teeth when you sleep?"

Erm, how should I know? I'm asleep.

Then he starts to ask about jaw pain and headaches.....yeah. Now that you mention it.....and when I wake up in the morning, my mouth does tend to ache a little.

He recommended I get a night guard. A mouth piece.

No way. Absolutely no way man! You can just forget it. I mean, retainers are for high school kids.....married women do not put appliances in their mouths at night (shut up). They just don't.

So I tried to forget it. I figure I didn't used to do that...it just started one day. And one day it will stop again.

Then I start noticing that I really clench my jaw when I'm awake too! Without realizing I'm doing it! Until it starts to hurt......then I mentally smack myself and tell myself to knock it off. The weird thing is, when I notice it most....when I'm chopping things in the kitchen. Weird.

Well, I finally got tired of waking up with a headache and having my jaw feel all tense and tired in the morning. Plus, we ran out of Motrin.

So on my weekly trip to Target LOOK WHAT I GOT.

So now I'm one schexy mama. In a very Sid the Sloth kind of way.

I tried it out last night...but I only wore it half the night. I don't sleep well with a big piece of plastic in my mouth. Plus, sometimes my husband snores. He'll stop if I tell him to....but poking and kicking do nothing. So last night after a fitful few hours of sleep he woke me with his snoring. I kicked and poked to no avail, then finally took the thing out, told him to stop snoring, and I went to sleep.

I'll try it again tonight.

Hubby is okay with the whole thing. I think he actually likes it. See, now he has if figured out that if I put the thing in my mouth, he might as well roll over and go to sleep. If I turn out the lights first, he can try and put the moves on me.

It's his little get lucky indicator.

I promise to wait at least another month before grossing you out with info like that again!

What I've been doing today....

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I have a new blog! No, it's not going to take the place of this one....so if you want all the mundane details of my life you're still going to have stop in here. It's also not solely "mine"....I have a few ladies who will probably be helping me with some of the content...and the name is temporary because I was highly un-creative last night. So as you can see, it's still very much a work in progress.

But if you'd like to hear all about saving some money (or the crazy thing I do to occupy my time out in the real world) then stop on by!

Baby Bliss

Well, my friend had her baby and I went to visit today. Oh she's cute!

Yes, I have a serious case of baby fever. I would SO love to have more babies......but there's this one little catch....I don't ever want to be pregnant again. That last time was awful! It's not the labor, I can do that (I have labors that are quick and easy....please don't hate me for it!) it's the 9 months of misery leading up to it that I want no part of.

Oh, and there the little fact that Hubby says, in no uncertain terms, that he's done. So we've agreed, each for our own reasons, that the two kids we have are plenty for us. Or course, we've taken to permanent steps to make sure that doesn't happen....but we aren't planning on it.

Most of the time I'm fine with it...until I see someone and their brand new baby. I need a pair of baby blinders to wear out in public or something. Something that guards me from their cuteness! Celia is no help either, with all this talk of her "baby sister".

Of course, there's also the fact that I won't ever have to do the sleepless nights, the diaper blow-outs, the colicky evenings again...that's helpful. And it won't be too much longer until I gain from freedom from my kids and get something of a life back.

See, I'm happy with the age difference in my kids. They don't fight a whole lot, there's no sibling rivalry.....but the negative of this is that I remember what it's like to have an older kid. How much easier it gets.

Because when you have a baby, your life changes so much that you really can't remember what life was like before kids. I can't....none of the moms I know really can. I mean, you can remember some of the things you DID, but exactly what in the world did you DO with all that TIME? No one knows.

Here's the thing though....when you kid turns about 4 or 5....you get some of that time back. First, they really get pretty good at cleaning up after themselves at that ages (and at not just being an eternal mess all of the time). They start getting into toys that amuse them for longer periods of time. Then they go to school. I remember that. The change from going to one kid to two kids is not as big as from none to one. We had 3 years where Jordan was in that "easy to care for big kid" stage before we had another baby again.

I remember that stage of life....when you only have to vacuum once a week. Or things stay clean for longer than 5 minutes. Or you aren't so frazzled that you can't remember what you had for breakfast, but you do know you haven't had time to pee for at least 8 hours. That's a nice place to be. And I'm almost there again.

So while I'm a little sad that I'll never have another bundle of love to call my own...I can be comforted in the joy of my own two (really awesome) kids and be a little secretly happy that with each passing moment, I get a little bit of myself back.

"Nobody touches King Bobo!"

This is what Celia says as she glowers out from underneath some fake foam bugs she stuck on her face....and has pretty much the theme of the day.

I hate to say this, but I hope she's still sick and that's why she's acting this way....because if she thinks this is just how it's going to be from now on, she's got another thing coming to her. Am I a horrible mother to hope my kid is sick?

Anyway, in between squabbles and quarrels and shrieks of indignation, I'm try to get some work done. This is how everything gets so messy. I get time only to complete tasks in bits and pieces until everything is a jumble of half finished work.

Plus the Hubby and I had an almost comical discussion because I prefer that he not refer to me as "the boss" to his friends and almost in the same breath tell me that "If I want to go golf saturday then I'm just going to go" like some kind of petulant child. I really don't need anymore petulant children to deal with. Two is plenty, thank you.

Bottom line is, if you are going to say things that hurt me more, just leave me be. Seriously. Now the pain of being the big meanie to both our kids AND everyone else we know is entirely diminished by the fact that I'm also viewed as the big meanie by my husband who has an open dread of spending the rest of his life with me.

And you know, if you'd just left me alone like I asked you to I would have probably forgotten all about the original insult in the first place by now.

Am I allowed to stick foam bugs on my face and mutter "Nobody touches Kind Bobo" at anyone who comes near? I really think that would make me feel better.

Poopin' Machine

Man, I'm beat. And I did nothing today.

But I didn't go to sleep until almost 2 last night (why oh why must HBO put Big Love on at 9? 10 would work so much better for me. we had to stay up until 12 to watch it replay!) and then had to get up every so often with my sweaty, fevered toddler.

So today we went to the pediatrician....she does not have strep (thank goodness) just some little viral thing like a cold. Except instead of runny nose and cough, she has a headache. And I think her throat hurt today.

Since all she wanted to eat today was fruit, all she did this evening was crap.

She was feeling much better though and was her normal goofy self. Which means my entire evening was punctuated by "Mom, I gotta poop, RUN!" And run I would. Even though we had put a PullUp on (just in case) and even though I have a pinch in my back from sleeping with here. I would scoop her up and run and she would giggle "Run mom, run! I'm a poopin' machine!" That she was. Thankfully, I was fast enough (and she was...well, in control enough) and we made it. Every time.

Soo, now that you've read all about my kid's crap, do you want to see some vegetables? Good, I though you might....... 'cause here they are!

First off, a pumpkin. I actually have many of these. Now sure, I could kill off all but one or two and try for a monster pumpkin...but I actually prefer to have lots of little ones. Plus, well, I'm not really one to put all my eggs in one basket like that.



And a tomato. I went with plum tomatoes this year. No particular reason.



Lastly, the teeniest tiniest watermelon ever! Isn't it cute! it's got a lot of expectations piled on it's little round head though....because out of my 4 watermelon plants, this is the only melon we've got. Grow baby grow!

A Case of the Mondays

Looks like Celia has a case of the Mondays....poor girl. She has a good excuse though. She's sick. She's contracted some mystery illness that has yet to be determined. She got up this morning with a mid-grade fever and a headache. She doesn't feel good and her whole agenda for the day consisted of laying around and picking on mommy.

First she pulled all the clips from my hair (she hates hair clips. Last week she pulled one out and it ripped my hair out. Now I have a patch of exceedingly short hair...right up front. Nice). Then we had to have a 20 minute conversation about boobies. Then about my squishy belly. Then she ripped off my shoes and picked the polish off my toenails.

In between bouts of picking at mommy she chugged Motrin and played with stickers. The saving grace of the whole day is that our good friend got a puppy (which are, in my opinion, the best kind of puppies...the kind that go home with someone else) and promised to bring it by. it is indeed just the cutest little puppy ever ad Celia is very excited because it lives at her best friend's house. So she knows she'll be seeing quite a bit of it.

Tomorrow morning we'll have to re-evaluate. If she still has a fever we pay a visit to our favorite pediatrician, Dr. Steele. He is an excellent doctor...plus he makes the most realistic bird sounds I've ever heard. Both my kids like him a lot. Except while there we'll have the gaggingly pleasant strep test....because apparently there is a version of Strep that the only symptoms are fever and headache.

If she doesn't have a fever then we have two options to consider. It could be another popular virus that's been going around (again, only symptoms are fever and headache) and we're done. Or it could be stage one of some very fun disease that ends with a rash. You know, chicken pox, 5th disease, or any other number of fun scratchy things. In any case, I'm keeping her away from other kid for the rest of the week until I see if anything else is going to pop up.

In other news, I had a breakthrough in time management today. Not only did I get my 2.5 hours of BzzAgent work done, I also did a bunch of laundry and some other really important housecleaning things. And some random sit ups. And ate a bunch of ice cream. And got bit by a bunch of mosquitoes. I think that's all.

Click on by, Boys!

That's right. There's nothing to see here, and I'm getting ready to talk about all things womanly, so here's your warning to find something else to read.


Go ahead, shoo....

Are they gone yet?

Good. So here's my big joyful news......my period came early this month!

Now let me tell you why this is such great news for me and every single person that I come into contact with on a daily basis.....

For the past (at least) four months I've been terribly hormonal. It's been bad. Real bad. And to top it off, usually when I get super stressed my period refuses to come like it's supposed to. And while I'm stressed out because of something really wacky going on with my hormones, it refuses to come and each and every day that passes is worse and worse than the one before.....until I start to get worried that I might kill a person if it doesn't come. And finally it will. A week late ....or like last month a very torturous nine days!

So lately that's how my cycle has been. I'll finally get it and have two days of residual hormones and anger. Then it's like the tide changing, like that fast. I wake up on the 3rd day and everything is okay again. I feel good about the world. That lasts for about a week. Then the nosedive starts. And let me just tell you that three to four weeks of nosediving is a long way down.

Mostly it's the hormones.....I'm a mess. Crying over EVERYTHING, just seething with anger about absolutely nothing for weeks at a time. But the headaches suck as well. Just waking up with a headache every day is enough to make you want to crawl back in bed (especially when you know no amount of Motrin is going to make it go away)!


But this month....no nosedive! It's been almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had my good week, then I started last week. Which could have been bad because I was REAL busy. But it was okay. I don't think I even really cried once! Then this morning, surprise.

Well I'll take it. I will gladly trade my monthly hormonal rage for a few more periods a year. Someone print out the contract, because I'm ready to sign on the dotted line for this one!




Chris, I know you're probably reading this thinking "Hey, what about that 'I don't feel you're being very supportive' discussion there other night"? Sorry buddy, no hormones there. I didn't even cry much, did I? That was all real and can't be blamed on anything like cycles or hormones....just life circumstance. But I do feel much more supported now after you took care of some of the huge pile of crap I didn't know how to do around the house. Thank you. And yes, I did eat all that ice cream. Eat some more soy food, will ya?

Trying New Things.

We've tried a few new foods in the past week, all have been pretty tasty.

Last weekend we had turkey burgers for the first time. This came about (like all other new foods we usually try) because I found a really good deal on ground turkey. Anyway, I did extensive internet research and came up with a good recipe:

1 lb ground turkey
Some shredded cheddar cheese (sorry, I'm bad with measurements, I just dumped some in)
Steak Sauce (again, umm, just dump some in there)

Since turkey is very lean, it tends to stick to the grill (and fall apart everywhere else). To guard against that, I coated the grill in nonstick spray (before you light it please!) and brushed the burgers themselves with olive oil. To make sure that they don't fall apart, put them on the grill and leave them there. Don't move them all around. You set them down, cook on one side for 4-5 minutes, then carefully flip and leave them another 4 minutes or so. None of this constant flip flopping stuff.


We also tried turkey sausage, which was also good (but hey, it's sausage....with all those seasonings, it's kind of hard for it to go wrong!)


Then this morning I was dying to try some elephant ears (or fried dough, or beaver tails, if you're from Canada). Now you can get all fancy and make your own dough, but I don't have time for those kind of shenanigans on a sunday morning. A can or premade biscuits would work just fine. We didn't have that, so I used Bisquick.

It's real easy, roll (or stretch) whatever dough you have out until it's more thin than you would think it should be. Then fry in oil until golden brown (it doesn't take long). Let cool (I like to do this on a paper bag, it gets some of the oil out) slightly and then dredge in powdered sugar or cinnamon sugar. I found it easer to put the sugar in a paper lunch bag, drop the dough in and shake.

Big surprise, something fried in oil and covered in sugar is REALLY good. I know that's a shocker. Just don't eat them more than once a month or your arteries will completely clog one day while you're walking around.


Lastly, and this one is s surprise, BocaBurgers. That's right. Meatless hamburgers. Soy Burgers. I will try anything if it's free (and they almost were) so we tried them. Shockingly edible. I thought they'd be really gross, but they taste just about like any fast food burger. I wouldn't fix them for company or anything, but my family liked them okay.

There you go, all my culinary adventures for the week!

Accident Prone

Hi there....sorry to have been MIA. I hope not to have a week as busy as last week EVER again. I know I will, but geez. It was fun though, we spent and evening with friends, had a party on the deck, swim team every day, and lots of backyard time!

Finding time in the day to work a few hours is really kicking my butt. Between taking Jordan to swim team each day, the usual keeping the house clean, the extra projects that always pop up, I can't fit two hours of work in each day. So either I don't work, or I don't clean, and neither are good options really.

Wednesday Jordan has his accident prone day. He lost of one his braces! We have no clue where it might be! We called out friends since he was swimming in their pool and mentioned that they might want to check next time they are out there...but we're really thinking he swallowed it (he has no wires yet, just 4 braces on his 4 top permanent teeth).

Then Jordan and I decided to move the big tent in the backyard. It went pretty well, we got the legs off, moved the thing, put the legs back on.....then the clouds moved in and the wind kicked up! Poor Jordan had to hang on to a tent leg for dear life while I pounded in stakes like a madwoman. Then it started thundering so I sent him to the porch with Celia....they made a "hideout" in the porch furniture....and amazingly the tent did not blow away while I finished attaching it to the ground!

Thurday was poor Celia's day to be accident prone. We spent the evening with friends and had a great time! They have a little girl who just turned two and is the sweetest little thing (though she's already potty trained better than Celia...be gone bad mommy envy). The dads went golfing and the kids and I stayed at their house for the evening. I had such a great time....our friend is about ready to pop any day and I'm just giddy with baby excitement! It's easy for me to be giddy, I don't have to be uncomfortable and pregnant or have labor looming over me.

Anyway, it was lots of fun except for Celia first popping a huge wheelie on their push and ride toy and turning the whole thing over on top of her! Then not 20 minutes later she was trying to do a sit up on a big exercise ball, lost her balance, and did a header into the wall! Then friday after the soccer party she got a big splinter in her foot (but was very brave for the extraction!).

My big news for the day is that Target finally put their Celebrate Summer stuff on 50% off so I got some great outside toys that I've been stalking for a month! Hope to take some pictures of us using them in the yard tonight!

Lady Madonna

We were listening to a Beatles cd on Monday and I laughed when Lady Madonna came on. I'd spent the whole day running around with the kids (and dreading the crazy week ahead) and trying to figure out how we were going to pay for Jordan's braces...so the song cracked me up. I guess you could say I had a real "Lady Madonna Moment."

"Lady Madonna, children at your feet, wonder how you manage to make ends meet"

Not that we're making a lot of real sacrifices or anything so that I can be a stay at home mom....I mean, we each have our own car, Jordan gets lessons in guitar and whatever his sport of the season is, we eat good food, have premium cable. But every once in awhile things do get tight and I have to do the dance of figuring out how to get it all paid....oh, say, like when the kid needs braces and Chris's recording project is running a little longer than he expected. But things got worked out and Jordan got his braces, right on schedule.

He did awesome, by the way. I'll have some pics up of his shortly. I was amazed how fast they put them on!

I was also feeling a little overwhelmed by my WAY over-scheduled week so I cancelled some small things....and I keep telling myself that these little things that keep piling up around the house are no big deal, they will be here tomorrow, and next week, and next year....to not stress about them. (But there's a little demon in my head hissing about the messing dining room, the scrapbook pages that need doing, fixing the playhouse, fixing Chris's bike, and the laundry, oh the never-ending always detestable laundry!) We are hosting a party this weekend for Jordan's soccer team.....so I feel this pressure to have the house looking perfect. Which is so silly. The party is going to be outside. And it's short. So most people won't even see the inside of my house, my less the laundry pile in the basement or the clutter in the dining room. I figure as long as the trail to the bathroom is clean, I should be good...right?

Some other exciting things in addition to Jordan's braces.....one of my new friends is about to have her baby. Which is just so exciting for me! I love getting together with her and some other mommies with toddlers each week because not only does Celia have friends to play with....I get my baby fix. Two of the mommies just had babies (one is about 4 months, another maybe one month!) and two of them are expecting. Since we aren't going to have anymore, I have to get my baby fix through them. They probably think I'm crazy because I love finding diapers at a great price and giving them to them (we hardly even use them here anymore) and really, it just makes me feel so good to be around all the new (or about to be new) mommies and their babies!

Oh yeah...I also found a new Smiley Add-On for Firefox. Boy, I'm obsessed with smileys. And now, I possess a smiley for every occasion! And some that well, I'm not sure when I will ever use.

Like here's one of my favorites, I use it all the time!

And another..really amusing to me.

That's right. It's a Jesus smiley. And what's that on his head? Oh, it's a halo (?!?!). Either that or the smoothest crown of thorns I've ever seen.

Chicken on the Grill, Pumpkins, and Ducks

Whew, how's that for an all in one title? Sorry folks, I have a lot to say!

First, how to cook a whole chicken on the grill.

This is one of our favorite summer meals. Take a whole chicken. Prepare and rinse well. Get a can of something. Beer is recommended, but I think Coke or any Cola works as well (you know, in case you live in a house where you don't keep can's of beer around and you don't remember to get one until Sunday, when you can't buy beer).

Drink about 1/2 - 2/3 of your canned beverage.

Jam the can (with the rest of the liquid) up the chicken's bottom.

Stand the chicken up, using the can and it's two legs to make a kind of tripod.

Smear it with something. We went with a Caribbean Jerk Marinade this time (tasty) but plan oil, salt, and pepper works fine too.

You want to use indirect heat to cook this sucker. Go if you have a gas grill, only light the outer burners and leave the ones under the chicken off. If you use charcoal, the when they are ready, use a shovel or stick or something to scrape them off to the sides.


Cook for about 1 - 1 1.5 hours over medium heat. (Use your meat thermometer to check for doneness).


Okay, so now that you have a recipe for chickeny goodness, check out our baby pumpkin! He's the first one! How exciting.

We also have some peas. The kids had to try one.

After dinner we went to feed the ducks and geese at Prickett's Fort. We do this pretty often (you know, every time someone leaves the bread open and it gets all stale!) and the kids love it. These are probably the fattest, best fed fowl in all of creation. Everyone in Fairmont brings them bread to eat!






While we were driving to the Fort, I asked Chris, "Do you want to feed the ducks or do you want to take pictures?" He decided he would be taking pictures because he's good at it (he is).


But the lure of feeding the animals was too great for him and I had to take the camera away. What is this thing he's feeding anyway? A duck or a goose? We couldn't decide, but they were very docile and nice.


Unlike this guy. He was not nice. Honking and hissing, nipping the other geese, and generally just flapping his wings at everyone.



After we've fed them all our bread, we want to make sure they get enough physical activity, so Jordan gently encourages them to fly.


I mean, hey, they've got to work off all that bread somehow. Right?