I hate gum...

So does my husband. He hates it because he thinks it's a choking hazard. I hate it because it's nasty.

I think it started with the friend I had in high school. She had two habits that I just didn't understand: falling asleep with gum in her mouth, and forming attachments to random objects.

At least once a month she would call me crying, frantic because she had once again fallen asleep with gum in her mouth....and when she woke up the gum was all over the precious object of the week....the one she couldn't sleep or live without.

I don't know where her mom was in during all these gum fiascos. Maybe she was just as grossed out as I was and had previously washed her hands of the whole deal. But for whatever reason, I ended up being the go to person in removing gum.

And I hated it. It was nasty. And I don't care how long your freeze it, how much peanut butter you use, or what other miracle method you find....you can never truly remove gum from a teddy bear, a boyfriend's sweatshirt, or wubby. Why a 16 year old girl still needed a wubby was beyond me....but she still slept with it even after we couldn't get the gum off!

So when my oldest child went to school, and people started giving him gum....I was thoroughly grossed out. I don't like to hear the stuff being chewed. What's worse.....when you're done with it.....you have to do something with it. You have to spit it out.

Let's get one thing straight. I don't spit. Ever. Yuck. I don't like to watch people spit. Just seeing it is enough to make me gag.

So when my kids spits out gum, I want nothing to do with it.

I don't want anything to do with it when I find it on the floor BESIDE the trash.

I certainly don't want anything to do with it when I find it stuck to the wall. (to learn that it was stuck to the wall because DAD told him to put it there so they wouldn't have to pause the xbox to throw is away made steam come out my ears).

And I don't want anything to do with it when my kid comes to me because someone gave him the bright idea to put his gum behind his ear. You know, in his hair? The hair he was growing out last year. That was the final straw. No more gum in my house. He can have it when he's 18 and he moves out.

I still can't get away from gum though. On a recent outing with friends....the friends had brought along some bug spray for everyone to use at dusk. She pulled the bottle out of the bag and discovered her little girl had put her gum on the lid.....as a kind of holding spot for the gum. Everyone laughed and giggled as I retracted my outstretched hand and shied away from the contaminated spray.

It was rude, and I'm sorry.

But I can't help it.

I really hate gum.