Squatting in the Parking Lot

Something in your life really changes when you start carrying an extra pair of someone else's panties in your purse....just in case.

No, my toddler hasn't started taking Alli. But when you have a newly potty trained toddler, you don't leave home without an extra pair. Let me tell you why...

My little girl has an aiming problem. She can sit all ladylike on the potty and shoot pee straight out onto the floor... (oh, the google hits those words will bring....go away you nasty pervs. There's nothing here for you here).

So we're at a really awesome church function, and the girl's gotta go. So we go.

I take her to the ladies room. I cover the automatic flush sensor with paper before she goes near the potty, because no one likes it to flush while they're sitting there. Especially my anti-loud-flush toddler.

We cram ourselves into the teeny tiny stall and she gets settled and starts to go.

The pee immediately shoots straight out, right at me. I squeal and jump out of the way, she screams and falls in the toilet.

That's right, my little sweetie in the toilet.

So she's screaming because her butt is in the toilet, there pee on the floor, pee on her skirt (thankfully, no pee in the toilet where her butt it).

I'm trying to tell her it's okay, it's going to be okay, while trying to get her out of the toilet.

Which is when I realize I left my purse (along with that emergency change of clothing) in the sanctuary. In the front of the sanctuary.

So I pulled her little skirt back on (because I had nothing else to do) and she duck walked back to the front of the sanctuary to get the dry clothes, then back to the bathroom to put them on.

Then we had a discussion about how she needed to finish peeing. No WAY was she going near that toilet. She tried to convince me that she'd just hold it until we got home. Well, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

So we came to a compromise...

I took her out the in the parking lot and we hid between a Suburban and a mini-van so she could finish the job.

I've got to get a travel potty.

Going Green

The M household has become very (okay, slightly more) environmentally friendly as of late.

It's not that I'm worried about global warming....I think that's a bunch of bunk. But I'm all for preserving the environment (and not paying Allegheny Power out the whazoo).

So we've started replacing all our light bulbs with those super trendy, low energy, twisty twirly ones. I'm really into not changing a light bulb for 8 years. (Don't lecture me on the whole mercury thing. I've done my research and weighted the options).

Then, I decided to use re-usable shopping bags when I shop. Actually, I just needed a reason to buy these at IKEA. Aren't they the coolest bags ever?!? So no more of those plastic bags for us!

Then today, the kids decided to take the comforters and everything off the beds (instead of just the sheets, but hey, they did take the sheets off too!). Since it was supposed to be blazing hot...we decided to wash it all! Just wash it all and hang everything outside to dry...so by mid-morning everything that doesn't move on the porch and backyard was draped in sheets, comforters, and towels. We were very country. Very down home. Very environmentally friendly.

I feel almost like a hippy now! I mean, I haven't really shaved my legs since these hives won't go away. I even took my bra off (well, okay....I usually don't wear one around the house....and since that stinking doctor didn't call my back with a new appointment to get these hives looked at ...again....so I figured, what's the point of wearing one). Now we're hanging laundry in the yard!

So anyway....we spent the morning out in the yard. The kids ran around, hiding in sheets and towels. They played in the baby pool, ran in the sprinkler. Jordan and I sat in the shade and read books. It was great.

Valley Falls and Frisbee Golf

The boys have a new hobby: Frisbee Golf. I don't know why George Costanza's "Frolf" didn't catch on as a name....but apparently, this is a real sport. We went to the sporting goods store and bought real discs to throw and everything. The .50 frisbees I found at Target just didn't cut it for this highly competitive game.

Anyway, between rounds of Frolf (as I will now be calling it), I drug the family to Valley Falls. It was a beautiful day on Saturday, but we didn't have time to go far. So I fed the troops some dinner and stuck them in the car.

After trekking back to the bathroom once, we finally crossed the train tracks (still active, one of my favorite parts of living in WV. I love the sound of the trains. Of course, we live across the river and up the hill....so the train sounds we get are pleasant.)



Then past the site of the old grist mill. Incidentally, that's just a fancy name for a place to grind grain into flour. Why couldn't they just call it that so I wouldn't have to google it?



Since we just got a considerable amount of rain, the falls were up a little. That means some fast, serious water. I gave the boy a good talk about how you don't even mess with water like that (swimming used to be allowed at the falls....but people died to often and now it's not. Still, every few years someone will fall in or slip on the rocks....and the outcome is never good).

Also....will someone please tell everyone to stop sending my husband shirts like this? It's bright yellow and says "ABC Affiliates are Great". Please, just send him a polo shirt please. The man will be a walking advertisement to anything....so let him do it in style.



Even Jordan sat still for a few minutes in awe of all that powerful water.



Man, that's some serious water.



Then we had to feed the geese. On the way out the door I discovered that the stale bread I'd been saving was looking a little....erm, green. In my panic (since I already told the kids we'd feed the geese) I grabbed a pack of stale tortillas and prayed that geese like tortillas.

They do. Even when a toddler lobs huge chunks in the water like some kind of edible frisbee.



Then we had to play on the swirly slide.




Then for my favorite (and my husband's least favorite) part of the evening: adventure and exploration!

When I was in college I used to picnic with a group of sorority sister (an academic one, FYI). Once, one of the girls promised she knew where a swimming hole (not in the dangerous falls river) was, and we hiked to it. I'm afraid that we hiked on the train tracks (umm, a bit of a no-no) so I wasn't about to break the law with kids in tow. We set off on the Rhododendron Trail which runs parallel to the tracks and the river. I figure we ought to at least be able to find it that way.....but I was pretty sure it was quite a hike.

In any case, we set off. Chris was convinced the trail was covered with snakes or bears and soon had the boy convinced of the same. We had to stop for a toddler pee-pee break and Celia managed to pee all over MY pants (but not hers). Finally, I got worried that my little girl might get tired (we didn't have the jogger stroller, so she was hiking too) and I didn't' want to go farther than I could piggy back her back, if need be.

She did quite well, though I did piggy back her just to get us out of there faster since the boys were having a complaining contest and getting on my last nerve. I can't wait to get the bike trailer so we can ride farther up the trail and maybe find that swimming hole.

And if any of my long lost Sigma Alpha Iota sisters are out there.....can you clue me in on how far it was....and what to look for to find it?

The Emperor's New Clothes

Everyone who has ever been to my house knows that I love IKEA. And I've discovered that as far as IKEA goes, it's a love or hate relationship. There's no middle road.....

Well, last year for my birthday the Hubby and I borrowed a big ole truck and drove up to IKEA to purchase our first ever brand spankin' new couch. Since I had just painted my living room a beautiful (but impossible to match) shade of sage....I got a white couch and chairs.

I loved them. Everyone thought I was nuts for white furniture and kids...but such is the beauty of IKEA. You zip the covers off then throw them in the washing machine. They've been smeared with chocolate, colored on with pen, and had varies types of milk leak on to them.

I went through a very trendy monochromatic "everything but the sage walls must be black and white" thing.....and loved it.

But I'm kind of over it. Plus, I got new paint for the kitchen which is a slightly more grey shade of green. I've read that green shades are good for kitchens and you won't eat as much (must work only in the kitchen, because I've had no problem eating in the green living room)! Plus, the paint was only $5 a can.....and I'm getting frustrated trying to find accessories that match with sage.


Oh , and mom my was visiting...and we love to shop. Especially at IKEA. She mentioned last time she was up that she was driving this time so that she could be a few more things. So I started planning, and saving.

Because that's the other great thing about IKEA. For not very much money, I can buy all new couch and chair covers and it looks like I have brand new furniture. So that's exactly what I did.


Here's my new couch:


And the chairs:



And some fancy pillow covers to go with it:
Instant new look. Now if I can just get around to painting the living room that yellowy-gold that umm....it used to be before I painted it green, I'll be all set.

Oh, and my other big plan is to photoshop some pictures of the kids to look like comic book prints, blow them up, and put them on the wall. Very pop-art. I'm into pop-art now, having left monochromaticism behind.

You're Out of Touch

I am at least.

Since Jordan has started swim team this summer, and I need to entertain my toddler there for an hour every day, Celia and I have done some exploring at Fairmont State.

Fairmont State is my alma mater. I enjoyed the school, I'm happy with the degree I got there. But I'm not calling it a University. It's just too pretentious. I can't do it. So I simply call it just Fairmont State.

I knew we were in trouble the very first day....the road that I used to take to the Feaster Center (where swim team is held), well, it just doesn't go there anymore. In fact, NO roads will take you through the middle of campus.

They will take you right to the new parking garage. However, you must not park there. (Unless you're a student, with an ID). You can get in....but you can't get out. I discovered this little gem about two years ago when I needed to take a grad course for continuing education (a teacher requirement). I found a very nice online class to take, but needed a professor's signature once. So I loaded up my newborn in her infant seat and off we went. I was very happy to put my car in that brand new garage and not have to fight for parking spaces anywhere. It was great.

Since I only had to go quickly in once building, I didn't take a stroller or anything, just that infant carrier. Anyone who's had one knows they are heavy...so you don't lug them around far. In typical Fairmont State style I had to lug her in that carrier to 3 different buildings! Then back to the garage. Where I found I couldn't get my car out until I walked all the way back across campus to the security office and purchased tokens to get out.

Why not put a money thingy on the gate to get out so you could just feem money in there? It makes too much sense.



So back to the here and now...Celia and I have been exploring the new and improved campus.

First stop was the new student activities center. She saw a shiny new building and begged to go in, so in we went. The song playing on the building -wide muzak system wall "You're Out of Touch". Was I ever!

Huge expanses of basketball courts, as fas as the eye can see. A student version of Barnes and Noble, trendy couches and chairs. A new Nickel....that looked just wrong. I wonder what they've done with the old one? A state of the art fitness center. A brand new pool (not for competition swimming). I felt very out of touch....and out of place. Especially since all this was just built on to the back of Colebank Hall.

For some reason, they really like doing that. The new building they are working on it being buit right on top of the tech wing of Wallman Hall. On top? And we always joked that the whole building was sliding down the hill. But I guess they know what they are doing.

Regardless, a few new buildings does not a University make. So if it's alright with you, I'll just continue calling it Fairmont State and leave the University off (since it's no longer acceptable to call it a college).

This is how we have a party!

First, get yourself some cheap slave labor to create some party decorations...



These kids (and their friends) work quite well!



Put the decorations on the porch.



Make yourself some party food. This is the cake I make every year. Cliche? Yes. But I like it. I also made Rachel Ray's BBQ Sammies.....but I put way to much salt in....they were salty. I still ate one. But not many other people did. Look, I'm still a nice person, even if I can't cook!


Here's the point in the party when the rain came. Everyone retreated in the house to play (the grownups played Wii, the kids just played). I stole someone's baby and took it to my favorite place and rocked until said baby was asleep. Ahhhh, sleeping baby bliss.....

About dark the rain went away and my husband had to try and set the house on fire, like he does every hear (try, not succeed!). I was actually kind of hoping he would burn the playset down. I've been wanting a new one but just can't seem to justify getting one. A fire would fix that. Darn rain.



Then daddy had to apologise to his little girl. She's no fan of fireworks and dad scared the crap out of her. She was more than a little unhappy about dad playing with fire.



Finally I broke out my large collection of glowing jewelry for the kid to run around the yard with while waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the city fireworks (we've got a primo view). Yes, there are children in this photo.....somewhere....


Finally, after all the guests had their cars loaded up, the fireworks started. Very sporadically.

Little hint for next year to the boys at the City of Fairmont....keep the fireworks dry. They light better that way.

Rollin' on the River

Some friends invited us to join them for the day on their boat (on the Tygart Valley River)...well, who can say no to that!?!

We were a little worried at first when Celia strongly protested getting in the boat, but once we started moving, she really enjoyed herself.

So did Jordan. He and his little buddy spent a bunch of time in the tube (please excuse my sad job at making other people's kids look anonymous). There was many an attempt made to knock them out of the tube (they were a little too full of themselves for their own good) but those little buggers managed to hold on through even the twistiest turns and bumpiest bumps.



Once we found a little beachy area to park (dock, whatever) Celia got out of the boat to have fun. First, she has a swim with dad. She's Mrs. Independent, "I can do it myself"!



Then she had to take a little break and sit in the tube to eat a cookie. That's right, she's eating a cookie in the river.


After awhile she talked mommy into coming out to swim and sit in the tube with her. I discovered that chilly river water works wonders for itchy hives. In fact, it made me feel so much better I told Chris I'd hike back down to the river later if I got desperate. Then I figured out that a cold bathtub would do the same thing....without the river smell!


Some other boat people stopped by, with their dogs. Both dogs had their own little doggy life jackets. Celia was in toddler heaven watching those dogs swim around and chase sticks. how long do you think it takes to dry all this fur out?


Celia also discovered how much she loves cherries....once dad showed her how to eat them.


Jordan spent much of his time playing with the campfire. He toasted cheese puffs and pepperoni rolls. It was gross. Then they doused the fire with 72 buckets of water (Smokey the Bear says "Only YOU can help prevent forest fires!") so that no one will be able to light a fire in that pit again for at least two weeks.


We had a ton of fun and now Chris really wants a boat. Play the lottery, hon!