Pimpin' da blog...

Yup, it's that time again. Time for me to spent countless hours finding cool stuff to do with this thing. (Mostly, just figuring out how to work the cool stuff!)

So now..I'm broadcasting a feed. You can subscribe to me. You know...you and my 37 other daily readers. I don't know exactly what you're supposed to do with it, but you can do it.

I basically had to do this so I can get a cool scrolling thing in my signature (ha, you think I blog a lot...you don't know the half of it!) for Babycenter. Some other cool mommy had one...and I just felt compelled to follow suit. I would never copycat anything in the real world, but in the blog world, watch out! I'm totally ripping off all your cool stuff. I totally give you credit for it though.

Some other minutia from our week of vacation...

- Dove Ice Cream bars are the nectar of satan. Seriously, those things are evil. I can eat a box a day. I you shop like I do (using coupons to stock up when things are on sale for free or very cheap) do not fool yourself into thinking you can make 20 boxes last the summer. I don't care if they do only cost .45 a box. YOU JUST CAN"T DO IT. They are too good.

- I got a job. Just a little one. It's pretty cool though. I've been doing this thing called BzzAgent for about a year. Basically, they send you cool new products to use and tell your friends about. It's work of mouth advertising. They want you to be totally honest....if you don't like a product, say so. If you do, say so. That's all. They usually give you little samples or coupons to pass out if friends are interested. Anyway, if that's not cool enough, when you tell them who you've talked to (or Bzzed) then you get points. Which you can trade in for some neat things...DVDs and stuff. Well, someone has to read and respond to every report that is submitted....and that's what my new job is. Well, not every report. There are lots of other people with my job, I'm one of many who review reports. I love it. Except now I get to read about all these other cool products that aren't offered to me (some are regional test markets) and I WANT them. In a bad way.

- Pool trip yesterday bit the big one. First, the line was too the parking lot when we got there. Not a good sign. For some reason neither one of the kids were all that into it (they usually love the pool). Then a very bad thing happened with someone else's baby and they had to clear the pool and call 911. We don't know what happened, but it creeped us out and we left. I could rant all day on the reaction from the other swimmers.

We took some pictures....but every picture of my family has someone else's butt crack hanging out of their suit in it somewhere. Like a public pool version of "Where's Waldo". There's just too much butt crack hanging out at the public pool....well, most places anymore really.

I did take some photos of the kids playing in our tiny backyard pool....which they enjoyed much more than the real thing. Before we get to the picture....have I mentioned yet this week how awesome my son is? I realize that most 10 year olds would be bored out of their minds stuck in the backyard with their mom a baby sister. But this kid is always just so happy with the world that he has a ball, anywhere he happens to be!

So here they are, swimming laps in the pool.


You've got to be careful swimming laps in such close quarters. Kicks in the face are not fun.



Okay, so we're all warmed up. On to activity 2....Jordan's lesson on "How to place your face in the water and blow bubbles". Celia is skeptical, but gives it a try.



Oooo, she doesn't like it. Moving on.



Activity 3 is dumping water over Jordan's head. I would say this is awful and mean, but he asked her to do it. She's just following orders.


Lastly, an order from mom. Bail, kids, bail. Empty that pool! They try and hit me with water...but I'm safely far enough away from them.


See, here's where I stay. Safe in my chair in the corner of the yard....in the shade of our tent. Notice the little wet butt prints my girl left on the chair. She's still freaked out and comes running if a motorcycle goes down the road.

- Last big from my week....a vacation at home is only a moderately good idea. It's been nice and all, but we haven't really gotten that much done, and the house is trashed because "I'm not cleaning that up, I'm on vacation!"

School's Out for Summer!

Today was Jordan's last day of school. He was half excited, half sad. He enjoys school, but we have some fun summer stuff planned.

Plus today was the final day of his being grounded from the Wii (this kid neglected to turn in 3! spelling papers last week and brought home a D!). He's been missing it for a week. He had big plans today. Since it was an early release, he planned to sprint home from the bus and play Wii.

Mission accomplished.

Today was also his first day of swim team practice. He's been swimming for a few summers, but I'm hoping the swim team might give him some more confidence with his skills. So far I really like it. The instructors seem great.

After dinner we went for a walk on the Rail Trail again...and guess what? I finally remembered the camera!

We decided to go on MCTrail. I really prefer the Mon River Trail...but the kids love that tunnel.


So here we are. First glimpse of the tunnel (south side) and we have to let Celia out of the stroller. I'm amazed how much walking those little legs do!



Off they go! Have I mentioned how Celia adores her big brother. Where ever he goes, she's gotta go too. He sits down to rest, so does she. He tosses a rock, so does she. He pees in the woods....well, she does that too.



Ready and waiting, at the entrance to the tunnel.



Break on through to the other side.....


It's actually a lot longer than it looks as you stand at the entrance. I think it's 1500 ft....



So here is the north entrance. Step out, turn around, and look up. There you go.



And to your right we have a waterfall....



Then we walked. And walked and walked. We walked a whole mile. Even Celia.



So turn around and head back to the car. There they go.....

We got a Wii!

Well, technically Jordan got a Wii. His grandparents bought it for him for his birthday.

But it's in the living room right now since there is more floor space than in Jordan's room. So we all get to play lots of it.

You get to make your own little person, call a Mii. You can make them look just like you! Or however you want to look, in my case. My Mii has hip spikey hair and perfect lipstick. Two things I never have in real life, but my Mii is way cool so she has them.

Everyone seems a little worried that my favorite game is boxing. I really like it. I take great joy in beating the crap out of my family. In the game of course. I would never hit them in real life. But in the game, I kick serious butt. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am MOMMY, the destroyer.

So my apologies in advance if my blog seems a bit empty the next few days. I may be busy. My Mini Mii and I have to practice while the boys are away and increase both my boxing butt-kicking skills and my tennis game.

It's very important. Seriously. You can't even know.

Happy Birthday Jordan

Ten years ago today, I woke up in the morning as a child and went to sleep at night as a mother.

I had no clue this was going to be the day my life changed forever.

I mean, I knew I was pregnant (34 weeks) and I knew things would soon change, but I had no idea how much. Just like any first time mom, you just can’t know how a child will change your life.

In addition to being a first time mom, I was really young. Only 19, still living with my mom as Chris and I hadn’t found a place yet. I had no life experience. I’d read everything I could find about having a baby, but books don’t really give you an idea of what a child means.

At 3:00 my water broke, and just over an hour and a half later my little guy was born. Since Jordan was only 34 weeks, he had some breathing problems at birth and had to be taken by ambulance to a better hospital with a NICU.

The first heartbreaking thing I had to deal with was not being able to go with him to the new hospital. Chris and his dad made the trip with him, and I went to see him the next day. He was so tiny, hooked up to a zillion wires and machines. It was so scary seeing him like that, but the nurses were so nice and told me I could change his diaper…..and he proceeded to crap all over me. I cried, because I was a hormonal post partum woman and I had no idea what else I was supposed to do. Thank goodness for good nurses again.

Amazingly, I caught on to the whole diaper changing thing and every other part of mothering pretty quickly. He made it easy. He was an almost perfect baby. Rarely cried, just generally happy to be around.

He has always been a pleasant kid. He never really went through a terrible-twos fit throwing stage, he’s never been mean. He’s made it pretty much unscathed through all our parenting mishaps.

We have on memorable video of everyone laughing at cats on the roof. Jordan went in to look out a window to see them and the window at the top of the steps fell in (who knew?) and came flying down the steps as he was going up. We forgot the camera was on and all you see for 5 minutes is out feet as we scream and run to him. Amazingly he somehow managed to squeeze out of the way as the window went sliding past. Once he was golfing with Chris and his dad and got swarmed by bees. We were worried about an allergic reaction, but he had no lasting scars (other than a huge fear of bees!) He broke his arm at daycare on Valentine’s Day when he was 4. Three days later I had to pry him and his huge casts of the monkey bars. He was (and is) an unstoppable ball of energy.

He’s amazingly smart with all the things he knows, the books he reads. He can talk your ear off, or amaze you with a song he figures out (on the piano or guitar) or just makes up on his own.

When his sister was born, he turned into the best big brother in the world. She fell in love with him. Every day when she wakes from nap, her first words are “Who’s here”. She can’t wait for “Bubby” to get home from school. He doesn’t get bored of silly toddler games and does his best to teach her to do big kid things.

And today, as he turns 10, he’s starting to make the change from big kid to young man.

Here he is, just a few months old.

Right before his first birthday he started walking. He was into everything!

At two he was a giggling ball of energy.

At three, my sweet playful boy.

At four, showing off his cat. He's always loved animals!

At five, he's a total goofball, hamming it up for the camera!

At six, the little man in our wedding.

At seven, a star on stage in the church Christmas musical.

At eight, a big brother is born.

At nine, he's all piratey goodness at his birthday party.

And here he is at ten. A young man.

I Turn Blue....

...when I'm cold and wet, just like a little kid in the pool. Not all of me. I'm not a smurf for crying out loud! Just my lips...and hands....and feet. It's kind of freakish, and apparently it really bothers some people.

Yesterday we had a soccer game. I was going to do pictures beforehand, but the weather was on and off rain, so I cancelled those.

Then we had the big weather debate before walking out the door. Should Chris and Celia come to the game, or stay home. (We try to all be at events, but no reason for everyone to get wet!). The radar looked okay, like the worst of the rain had passed, so we loaded everyone in the car.

We got to the field and started loading the stroller up for the trek to the field and Chris asked where the umbrella was.

Umbrella? I didn't pack an umbrella! I got both kids in the car, each with all their gear! Jordan had all his soccer stuff, Celia had a sippy, stroller, snack, and change of clothes. I had all my coaching stuff....clipboard, treats for the boys, goalie gloves and shirts. An umbrella was asking a bit much.

Well, we got to the field, I warmed the boys up. We had a full team, so that was great. The other team got there (it was an out of county match, which always makes me nervous...I know all the coaches in our county. They are nice guys and teach good soccer) and they also had read shirts....so my boys got to wear yellow vest.

The other coach was a BIG burly man. His first words to me (and the reason I blame him completely for getting go wet) were, "Did you play last night? Boy, it just poured down the rain. 'Course, my boys could swim and play soccer, so it don't matter much. Hey, you like my #2? He scored me 20 goals last night. Over 60 this season".

Dude. Why are you telling me this? I really don't care. I'm trying to coach soccer over here. I have about 3 boys who don't "get" the game yet...and need pretty much constant coaching (not how I like to do things. I prefer to teach in practice and let them play....for the most part....at the games) whether they are in the game or on the bench.

Shortly after that brief exchange. It started raining. Not bad at first. Meanwhile, #2 was whomping my boys. Score at halftime was 5-1. Not good.

Celia and Chris spent most of the game under a huge golf umbrella with another team dad (and thankfully, one of our best friends). Celia was in her massive jogger stroller, the other dad in his chair, and Chris couched facing him....watching the game over his shoulder. It looked questionable, to say the least. At one point (Chris told me) some people were admiring Celia and he gazed up at the other dad and said, "Given the circumstances, they probably think she's OURS"

About two minutes before halftime the unpleasant drizzle turned into an absolute downpour. At one point, I was afraid my contacts were going to wash out of my eyes. We cut halftime short to get back to the game and get it over with....then had to pause everything and retreat to the concession stand because of lightening.

The ref (who was great!), burly coach and I all had a pow-wow on if we wanted to wait the required 30 minutes after lightening to resume the game, or call it and go home. I left it up to Burly Coach....because they drove 30 minutes to get to this game, and they'd have to drive (through weather) home. Okay....maybe that wasn't the real reason. I wasn't caving to any Burly Man. I'd be happy if he wanted to call the game, but no way was I going to say....eh, I'm cold and wet, let's all go home.

Plus, I looked around at the boys and they were having a ball running around in the mud. I wanted to give them a shot at actually playing the game.

After 30 minutes of waiting....everyone had hot chocolate (thanks to a very nice team dad...since the coach didn't even bring her purse or anything to the field...), I only had to clear the boy's restroom once (there was a hot air hand warmer in there and there was about to be a fistfight over it) we got back to the game.

I gave the boys a talk about #2....put on the pressure, don't wait on him....and contain (that was the word of the week at training). I'm really proud of them (especially my kid!) because they did a great job. They only let him get 1 more goal....then Jordan scored a goal.

But about the turning blue....yeah. I guess the ref was quite worried about it. He came up to me several times with a "You need to go in and get warm, coach" suggestion.

And boy I did. Just as soon as we got home, I decided that new bathroom fan really needed to be tested to see if it cleared steam from the bathroom. I took the longest, hottest shower EVER. And that fan works just fine!

I Hate the WESTEST!

I'm not fond of standardized testing by any means....but I do see a purpose in things like the ACTs, SATs, those kind of college prep tests.

I seriously hate the WESTEST though.

First off, my kid stopped learning anything new as of the end of March. That's where the WV school year effectively ends now. From that point on, everything it "reviewing for the WESTEST". No new stories are read, no new vocabulary words, no new math applications, nothing.

Plus, I feel like they really rush through some concepts (uh, like fractions!) in order to finish learning everything early. I mean, the WV CSO's are designed for a 9 month school year. If you squeeze them all into 6 months, then you're going to rush through something. That's if you don't miss almost the entire month of February due to City water problems.

Lastly, when this test is over on Thursday, my kid is done. No matter that school isn't over until June 11 or something like that.....the WESTEST is over, so there will be no more learning this year! This last month of school, traditionally spend on an end of the year review so that kids retain knowledge for next year.....nope, it's break time baby! Recover from the WESTEST time! We really don't give a crap if they actually learn it or retain the knowledge, just that they meet AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) on the WESTEST.

So they start reviewing in April. They re-arrange the class schedule so that they have big block of review time. They hold assemblies and pep rallies to tell the kids how important the WESTEST is (ie, stress them the crap out!) I mean, it does go on your PERMANENT RECORD. It stays with your the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Students are told to be in bed BY 8:00 each night (okay, no biggie, his bedtime is usually 9:00). To get up early and eat a healthy breakfast (not that crappy cereal your mom gives you on regular days...and I thought Life was healthy...). To wear school colors every day to encourage everyone to do their best (like mornings aren't crazy enough without finding out at 8:10 that my kid needs a yellow shirt). To take their time on the test (first on done gets detention).

From a teacher's perspective, I still hate this stinking test. They whole school year revolves around it. A teacher's success is found in not how well they teach or inspire their students, but how well they teach to a test. How well they teach kids to TAKE a test. And frankly, by the quality of kids in your classroom.

You can read all the inspirational books you want. Watch Lean on Me a million times. But there are still going to be kids that don't give a crap. They won't participate in even the most fun assignments. They won't complete classwork even if you do it together. You can forget about homework. And tests, they are just random fill in the dot coloring pages. If they even take the time to do it at all.

I'm not talking about kids with learning disabilities. I'm talking about plain old lazy, I don't care about school kids. They get younger and younger each year. And don't bother talking to a parent about it, because YOU are the teacher, it's YOUR job to teach them. Not the parent's fault if they won't complete home work. I mean, parents can barely control them the 6 or so hours they are at home, now they are supposed to care what's going on when they aren't at home. Not very likely!

If we want to talk about kids with learning disabilities, let's talk about how they are hurt by our "New and Improved" educational system. There are NO levels of classes any more. Everyone is lumped together in one class. You know, so they can receive a fair and equal education. Except, I don't think we're looking at this the right way. Sure, every student is given the EXACT same experience. But I don't view that as fair OR equal. Because some kids require more attention from a teacher to learn certain things. Which is easier to do in a classroom with 10 kids than it is in a classroom with 32. This goes for students with learning disabilities, gifted students who need more advanced work, and completely normal, nothing different about them at all students who just need some extra help in one subject or another.

So now we put them all in the same room. We have your Special Education (we call them Title One here in WV) teachers come into the classroom and assist the classroom teachers. Sounds great, right?

Two reasons why this doesn't work. First, there aren't enough Title One Teachers. They rotate between classrooms, teaching a class here and there. It works okay up to the 4th grade (when kids are with the same teacher all day) but after that, they rotate classes. Since there is not a Title One teacher in every classroom all of the time, there are often students who need extra help who go through the whole day without a single class where there is extra help. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

The other reason is scheduling. Not only are there not enough teachers to go around, but these teachers are expected to team teach with the classroom teacher. Only due to the schedule, they don't have the same planning period. Plus the Title One Teacher has to teach in 6 different classrooms throughout the day. 6 different teachers to collaborate with. Can you see how this doesn't work? It ends up being 45 minutes of the classroom teacher teaching math, then 45 of the Title One teacher teaching math (because we now have 90 minute blocks of math and reading, but the Title One teachers rotate in 45 minutes intervals so that they can get to more kids.

So take any kid (with a learning disability or one who is just struggling in general) stick them in a classroom with 32 other kids, throw in a handful of behavior problems (read, kids who have never been disciplined in their life and aren't about to start behaving now!) for 6 months. Then give them a huge, hyped up, standardized test. Show me how No Child gets Left Behind.

Now, my kid will do fine on the WESTEST. He's a smart kid. Reads well above level (which is a huge part of the test). Does okay on math. He's a good test taker. He'd do a heck of a lot better if it were not for our education system just about giving him an ulcer over it.

He'd forget his head, if it wasn't attached.

This is what I tell Jordan's teacher as I drop his forgotten lunch off for the 47th time this year.

"Yeah, we've figured that one out too" She smiles and replies. Seriously, he'd be walking around like this:

Instead, he just takes funny pictures of himself with my MacBook camera and runs around forgetting some very important, non-attached things. Lunches, homework, money, socks...

Celia has a great time taking the lunch to his school. She feels like a real big girl. We don't stick around long though, because we had important stuff to do.

Like sit in my fancy smancy lawn chair and take pictures of Celia running around the yard and playing with the hose.


I know, I know, big waste of water. Not an environmentally friendly activity. In my defense, I only turned the water on a trickle and turned the hose on mist. Mostly so she couldn't spray me, but it did also help conserve water.



Oh, but my fancy smancy chair....boy do I love that thing! It's a cross between a folding camp chair and a lounge chair. It's heaven....in aluminum and mesh. We bought it when I was about 4 month pregnant with Celia. We were walking through Sams Club, and I spotted it. After 4 months of battling a rather wretched case of morning sickness (that lasted all dang day) in front of equally wretched middle school kids......I wanted nothing more than to sit in it. I gave Chris my "I really need that chair" eyes and told him my summer plans entailed sitting in THAT chair, in the shade, and not moving for 3 months. I think I even gagged a little, just to get the point across.

So we bought the chair, and I did sit in it all summer. We even took it to the beach and he carried it down there for me every day. And it's been sat in every summer since.

Okay, I have to rant about shorts. I just want to buy a nice pair of shorts. No one sells nice shorts this year.

Well, that's not true. I found some really nice ones at Banana Republic, but I'm not paying that much for a pair of shorts. Especially ones that may not look that great on me. I'm not quite as tall and leggy as the models they use....plus I sure won't be wearing heels with them!

Because I did go try on some shorts. The breezy cotton gauchos that look so comfy and cute. They made my butt look to be the size of New Hamphire! it was awful. I was embarrassed to be wearing them in front of my toddler in a locked dressing room.

I looked at some other shorts. They were so tiny I could have tanned my butt cheeks while wearing them. No thanks.

So I'm stuck with my breezy skirts....which I really like. I got two last year form Gap that I love. They are reversible....so it's really two skirts in one! Stretchy smocked waistline....very forgiving of the extra ice cream I might like to eat. Casual enough to wear over my swimsuit, still dressy enough to wear to church.

They do have a really irritating habit of flying up and (hmmm, how did Dave Mathew's say it...) showing my world, well, to the world at large. In the parking lot of Burger King nonetheless, while trying to change my toddler in my friend's Suburban as she is doubled over in laughter at my backside flashing all of Sabraton while I try not to drop my squirming toddler in an effort to cover my own butt.

Thank goodness I've never been one of those trendy, thong wearin' mamas!

I guess I'll just make sure all my panties match my outfits again this year....or at least until I can find some good shorts.

Woozy at the Dentist's Office.

Jordan had his big dental appointment this morning, the one to get his mouth all ready for braces. He had an extra tooth that needed to be removed, plus some cavities (he inherited my weak, deeply grooved teeth...poor kid). Anyway, we knew he was going to need to be sedated for the tooth removal and decided to all the unpleasant things (molds of his mouth for braces, a cavities, etc) at once.

We're kind of doing it step by step because, well, it's costly. We have dental insurance, be we still can't afford to do all of it at once. And the biggie that the insurance won't cover is sedation. But my little guy has worked up a serious case of anxiety over this....plus....no way would I get a tooth pulled while wide awake. I'm not going to expect my kid to do it. So we got all the nasty stuff taken care of while he was drugged up.

We scheduled it first thing this morning because he couldn't eat for 12 hours beforehand. He wakes up ravenous each day, so we figured the sooner we get it over with, the better. That meant all of us had to be out the door at 6:50 this morning, a full 40 minutes before we're usually awake.

He did great though! We admitted afterwards that he cried some during the shots, but that he didn't even feel anything else. He's still pretty dopey, and starved. He's done nothing but eat. And drink Coke. He never gets it, but the dentist recommended it and said to give him as much of anything he wanted to drink, so he's working his way through a two-liter. And loving every minute of it.

But the wooziness....oh it was awful. We went in the little consultation room for post-op instructions and such. She started talking about oozing and clots.....oh my. My ears started ringing, my face was tingling.......I had to ask her to stop talking and put my head between my knees for quite awhile. (What, you thought I was talking about the kid being woozy? The one who just had 2 hours of dental work and is doped to the gills? No, he's fine....)

So fine in fact that when I told the girl I was feeling woozy, he scooted fast as a cat to the other end of the bench, just in case there was some puking. No one wants to sit next to their mom when she pukes (though I wasn't feeling like THAT at all, just like I was about to hit the floor), even if they are floating on cloud nine!

Celia also had her very first cleaning. I made it through that one fine (as did she).

We're done with the dentist now for at least a month.

Baby Saying Big Words

Here's a video showing off my family at their best.

Celia is a little parrot who will repeat anything she hears, so we're taking advantage of it to get her to say some funny big words. Until she starts stripping off her pants.

Jordan is feeding the words to her and cackling like a hyena in the background.

Chris makes an appearance in the end to say "Hey, I don't think you were recording"

Umm, yeah, I was.

Infatuation

Spring is in the air and love is floating around. We've all discovered new found love in some interesting places.



Celia has a serious ducky addiction. She's always loved her ducks, but at an Easter egg hunt this past weekend they hid some little ducks with eggs. She was perfectly content plucking brightly colored eggs in her basket, but once she saw those ducks it was all over. Her eyes got all big and she screamed "Duckies mama, duckies! All the duckies I could ever need! Duckies!" She abandoned all efforts at getting eggs and began scooping up ducks like there was no tomorrow. No other toddler even had a chance at getting a duck, she snatched them all up. In the effort of sharing, we did let everyone pick a duck from her baskets who didn't get one (we still brought home around 10-15 little Easter ducks).



Add those to our already fleet of ducks and you have a regular ducky army. The big ducks usually reside in the bathroom as we allow those in the tub...but the little ones roam the house at will. I don't let them in the tub because they don't drain well and get all nasty inside. The big ducks all have names like: Ivory, Magenta, Violet, Peachy (she's the favorite). You'll also see George in the back. George is an honorary duck. He's really a big blowfish that terrified her for the first two weeks of his existence (she dropped him and ran when she pulled him out of her stocking at her grandparents house and for two weeks demanded "Take him out the tub. He's scarin' my ducks"). She now loves him and treats him just like he's a duck.



Her second love is not necessarily a new love. She's always had a taste for chocolate. But since Easter she's discovered how great it is to sit with a small plastic egg of pastel M&Ms. This is Easter morning....yes, she's wearing several pairs of new panties over her pajamas. The bunny brought them and she was very eager to wear them.



Jordan is in love with his new iPod. If he had his way, he's listen to it all of the time. But mom won't let him take it to school, church, or during dinner. That does leave a lot extra listening time though!

My current new infatuation is CVS. I love that place. I bought some make-up last week, which totally does not work for me. I also accidentally threw away the receipt.

My favorite manager took it back, no problems at all. He was more than happy to do so. I would say that I've got a crush on him, but I honestly can't remember what the man looks like (I do remember he is normal looking, slightly attractive...I would remember a 3rd eye or snaggled teeth). What I do remember is any time I've had to deal with him he is so sweet, polite, accommodating, and basically gets me whatever I need. I don't really want to know him any more than that...because that's obviously a fallacy I'd like to keep intact.

So they took the make-up back, gave me some money. Which I re-invested in items that will give me more Extra Care Bucks. (I didn't actually pay for the make-up in the first place, I used some ECB from the last deal they had). Basically at the end of the month I will have 5 bottles of Listerine, 5 really cool looking Oral B Sonic toothbrushes, 5 Softsoap body washes, 5 tubes of Crest Natural Expessions toothpaste, some Aleve and Excedrin. None of it will cost me any money. (Most will get donated to charity or given away to friends, we have so much of this stuff already and things like toothpaste do expire. Let me know if you want some!). I'll also have a boatload of ECB to spend next month on whatever they are offering. Plus I always need to get a few extra things to get me up to the total ECB I have so I can shop around for other useless stuff (like Easter clearance). It's a total shopping high which costs me no money.

If you want to figure out how to get started on these ECB deals, e-mail me and I'll try to help. Better yet, visit the CVS forum at families.com. That's where I get all my information and the ladies there are amazing about finding deals and sharing them with the world!

Things that make you go EWWWW!

Number One on the List of EWWW:

The smell of my house late last week. Stank. I mean nasty. The bad part was that I couldn't really figure the smell out. First, I just though it was that stale smell that I feel like the house gets after days of rain. Nope. Then I thought it was the Cantelope I had ripening on the counter telling me in a not so subtle way that it was time to be cut up. Nope.

Could not find the smell anywhere. Chris came home and I'm wandering the house, sniffing. Trying to find the odor. I did mention that it smelled kind of like a sippy cup that someone had forgotten....but that couldn't be it because I'd looked in all the usual "hidden sippy" places. Under the bed, in the bag, behind a chair, even the toys box.

Well, the weekend came around with glorious weather. Windows wide open, ceiling fans on bringing the fresh spring air in....it was great. Smell was gone.

Fast forward to this evening. I'm doing my wander around the house putting select random things away (not cleaning....it's 11:00, I'm just wandering really). I scoop up some stray wooden food and turn to deposit it in the "wooden food basket" of my daughter's kitchen (her cabinets are so organized. Why is it I can keep her cabinets looking nice, but not my own?) I spy the spout of a cup poking up through the fake fruits and veggies. Gross-ola! I knew I smelled something stank. Luckily it's trash night, so that puppy when straight to the curb.

Number Two on the List of EWWWW:

My sweet daughter has some unusual tastes. last week I made some bacon crumbles for salads and such over the weekend. She had been sneaking a few of those after they cooled, but that's alright. I can understand a love of bacon. Plus, she didn't get that much before I put them in the fridge.

She did manage to sneak in and hook the mug of harded bacon grease (otherwise know as LARD) off the counter and dig in. I walked into the kitchen (looking for her because it was quiet and quiet is bad!) to find her licking a lard covered finger clean. I screamed, gasped, gagged, danced around making noises of disgust. She just wanted to know "Mommy, why you take my cheese away?"

Number Three on the List of EWWW:

Same sweet princess dumping half a shaker of salt on the counter, then methodically licking a finger, placing in the salt, and licking clean. The worst part is, even she thought it was nasty, but she just kept right on doing it!

Number Four on the List of EWWW:

On the way home from soccer I was blissfully singing along to my cd. I glanced in the rearview mirror to discover that both boys had two fingers in their mouths. Straight from the soccer field mud and muck covered fingers. Yeah, they are both 9, but I guess if you put your index fingers between you molars and bite kind of hard for awhile, then take your fingers out, hook them together and pull, it feels strange....or painful....or something. I also forgot to mention this to the other boy's parents. So guys, if you read this before I remember to tell you....whoops, sorry about that. If the boys get worms later in the week I'll treat you to a worming treament! Yummy.

Crooked Heads and Fluffy Butts

This is my son. His head is crooked. It only becomes crooked when he's wearing a bike helmet. At first I just thought we had a gimpy helmet, but that's not it. He borrowed a friend's helmet one day....and the helmet that sits perfectly balanced on his friend's head is absolutely crooked on his. It's his head.



Very confusing, because when you just look at him, he looks like a perfect normal kid without any head abnormalities.


Just kidding. You've got to love this MacBook Photo Booth though. Tons of neat options.

For real, here is his normal head. Nothing crooked or strange about it. Even the precise measurements at the pediatrician show nothing off.

But he is definitely crooked.


Enough with him and onto ME. Here's a perfectly nice picture of me and my baby girl walking down the street. Is that butt fluffy or what? (Mine, not hers. Well, hers is too, but she's got a few extra inches of diaper under there.) It looks like I'm wearing snow pants or something.


In my defense, those are not my best jeans. We were playing outside so I wore the halfway grubby ones...but still....not a good look.

I have been sitting around eating massive amounts of brownies, Krispie treats, and cinnamon rolls. I have not met two of my goals for the year (Drink 16 oz of water each day, some sort of physical activity 3 times a week). I've been a slacker. A sluggard. I checked a few sites and I'm within my recommended weight. i don't really have a problem with the number on the scale...it's that butt fluffiness and extra lump of fat that has taken up residence on my belly that I can't stand.

Since the government decided to mess with time again, I'm going to suck it up and use it as an excuse for starting over. That's right. The government messed up time for all of America to get me off my fluffy butt and get in shape. You can all thank me for that when you're feeling sleepy this afternoon.

Heathens!

We're heathens I tell you!

We totally skipped out on any church this morning. I knew it was going to happen since Chris and I were still up talking at 1 or 3 or whatever time it was. This whole time change thing has me all messed up. It was late though. But we hadn't had time to really talk (about a bunch of nothing) in a week so we each had funny stories to tell. We also needed to fight with the alarm clock since it was also very confused by the time change.

Missing church is something we haven't done in.....years. We don't go when we're at the beach (churches are hard to find on the Outer Banks) and I missed about a month when I was pregnant with Celia. (I spent most of my time while pregnant hugging the toilet and praying to God that he get me through pregnancy alive, so I think that totally counts. Plus, I'm sure all the church people appreciated that I did THAT at home instead of in the middle of service).

Anyway, Chris rolled out of bed with Celia when she got up at 6 or 8 or whatever time it was she popped into action this morning. He has the ability to turn on cartoons and then go back to sleep on the couch...which I can't do. I was very grateful for the opportunity to snooze alone. In bed.

When we finally all got moving, we decided it was a great day for a bike ride at the parking lot of the middle school. This was Celia's first "bike ride".


Here are Celia and Daddy exploring the school. Dad went to school here for a year of high school. Then they built a fancy new school and this one because a middle school. It's still a great building and I love it.



Celia is riding her bike with all she's got! Dad was a bit disappointed that she didn't "get" the whole pedal thing, but this girl can move!



Once she gets bored riding her bike, she finds a great big pile of leftover snow. Celia loves snow and was delighted that since it was so warm (almost 50) she didn't have to wear gloves and could actually touch the stuff. Mom was thoroughly grossed out because this particular pile of snow was covered in cinders and other nasty looking dirt....



Come here little girl, let me eat your fingers! Not really, but that snow was cold and required some serious hand warming.

There's Jordan. He's been zooming around the lot this whole time satisfying his need for speed. He also briefly considered crashing his bike off a platform into a big pile of snow, until mom informed him that would likely result in blood or broken bones.



So that was our afternoon of family fun. We left when some unsupervised punk with an undesirable vocabulary showed up wearing a shirt that said "Beer. Helping ugly people get laid since 1930".

I'm officially a bad mom.....

Yep, it's official now. Ordering the big "I suck" shirt from the printers.

Dinnertime drama with Mr. Picky. We have begged, cajoled, implored....and finally tonight we settled on "You just sit there until you eat that potato" line.

In my defense, my pushover, softie, give the kids their way with almost anything husband was totally in on this parental foul as well. He may have even been the one to utter the line. (Don't quote me on that though!)

In any case.....it was a glorious example of good team parenting gone bad. Over a potato. A very good potato if I do say so myself. One of my much acclaimed twice baked potatoes.

First off, let me say that the boy does like potatoes. He raved over the baked potatoes I made a few weeks ago, which were smothered in cheese and bacon. Then last week we had cheddar bacon twice bakes. He gingerly picked the crunchy top layer off and nibbled it in rice size bites before deciding it was icky. Good ole' Dad loved the potatoes and immediately snatched the potato and made it disappear.

For some reason we were not up for the battle last week as we were tonight.

Tonight we went for cheddar broccoli twice bakes. Lots of cheese, lots of potato, very little broccoli. And he does eat broccoli. It's not on his favorite list of anything, but he will eat it when implored to do so.

So we left him there at the table, picking and poking (but not really consuming) potato. Fast forward 20 minutes and you've got a 9 year old retching over the garbage.

Thankfully, there was no actual puking ....just some gagging, coughing, and the threat of puking. I would have felt really bad if he actually puked....instead of the moderately bad feeling I get from parental enforced gagging. I myself am a veteran gagger, so I know it does no damage. Over a potato. I don't get it.

Real Ninjas DON'T sleep in beds!

Duh! Didn't you know?

We had a ninja sleepover last night (well, part of one. One of the ninjas was grounded so we're a ninja short....must have one again soon with the complete ninja troop). At 10:00 I went up and told them to clear off the bed and finish up the games. The Ninjas informed me that they would NOT be sleeping on the bed.....they would be sleeping in the Ninja clubhouse. Said clubhouse is Jordan's closet......which is about 4x3.....not big enough for two sleeping boys. Plus it's hardwood. I convinced them that sometimes Ninjas will sleep under the fooseball table. You know, on the carpet....




And yes. I did sneak into the room with my camera on night vision (I had to even wake Chris to have him help me figure THAT one out) and risk waking sleeping children with the flash.

I had to though....there's just something about these boys, they are so adorable when together. They remind me of puppies from the some litter when together. They are just happy go lucky, falling all over one another in joyous boy togetherness....

Celia is taking the whole "boy togetherness" thing pretty well too. I take her up with me to "check on those boys" every once in awhile...and I did let her sit in there with them for a little bit. But she decided to re-arrange a Lego army (or clean up, in her mind....thank you sweetheart!) and had to come out of there. She's either coming down with a cold or has some allergy stuff going on....so hard to tell with her. She doesn't seem to feel bad though, so that's good!

You can take a kid to the dentist...

...but you can't make him open his mouth! Round Two of Jordan and the filling went on this morning. Score Jordan 2-0. Now, let me just say that we have a great dentist. I myself am not fond of the dentist and have some major anxiety over it. But this guy is good. You barely feel it when he numbs you, which is always the worst part. Also, Jordan has had a filling in the past! He barely flinched, said it was no big deal! But that was two years ago and his little mind has apparently spent a lot of time blowing this thing out of proportion.

Today we went in prepared to use a little laughing gas. Our dentist isn't crazy about drugs of any kind (which I like) but will use them if necessary. Jordan had bucked up a little and decided he was going to have it done without the gas. He really seemed more calm and I thought he's go through with it. Nope. then he wouldn't even let them put this little mask over his nose to try the laughing gas. So we left the office, sans filling. Dentist is going to think about this problem today and call me with some ideas.

Basically, we've got 4 options. First, just hold the kid down, gas him, numb him and fill the tooth. Dentist if a very kind and gentle man, not into holding kids down. He says he saw some awful things in dental school and hates to traumatize a child. So this is, for many reasons, a last resort.

Option 2: Slip him a mickey. Is that still current slang? Anyway, drug the kid up at home and then bring him in. With Jordan and his medicine taking/picky eating issues, this would probably also entail some holding down and possibly some pukage. Now, there's a chance we could slip it in some Coke....which was the dentist's thought. But my kid is going to wonder why I'm letting him drink Coke in the first place, probably figure it out, and refuse to drink the spiked soda. We've been down THAT road before. (Honestly, I wrote it in the baby book when he was old enough to swallow pills....small pills only though!)

Option 3: Sedate him with a shot. Okay....that's not going to work. If the kid won't let you give him a tiny shot in the mouth to numb a tooth, he's sure not going to let you put one in his arm.

Option 4: Try another dentist. We have a pediatric dentist in our area with a bunch of bells and whistles in the office. Headset games for the kids to play during procedures. Maybe the distraction will be enough. I think this is the option I'm leaning toward. Chris doesn't want to take him all the way up there just to waste another dentist's time (though I'm willing to bet that they charge for a chicken out appointment, which our current dentist doesn't).

So there you have it folks.....what would you do if it were your kid?

Paper Mache and Dress Up

We're having a pretty productive snow day. Celia spent part of the morning changing into different dress up outfits. This one was her favorite. She told me "Mommy, I'm so excited to be a princess!" Jordan had on his ninja gear...because every princess needs a ninja to look out for her. He spent a good bit of time working on fractions (we're not there yet!) I made bread. It's very good, but didn't get a good crown on it. Which means I'll eat a tons of it, but no one else will. Mmm, carbs! Then we got to work putting paper mache on balloons so Jordan could make a model planet. They both had a bunch of fun, but I think it's going to take forever to dry. I see myself spending a good bit of time with a hairdryer and some goopy balloons this afternoon! I'll leave you with some shots of our balloon covering fun!