Hubby has a blog!

Well, he talked about it forever ago, then got bored with thinking about it and forgot. Now he has decided to jump the bandwagon and get his own blog.

He's telling me it's going to be about recording and mixing and all that sound stuff he's into. But I'm sure he'll mention me. At least once. Especially if I bug him nonstop until it's blog about me or kill me.

So without any further ado, please check out what Chris has to say at Sound Thoughts!

My Husband, the Psychic.

At least he told my therapist he is.

Not really, but that's totally what it sounded like, and after that I could NOT stop laughing. I just sat in my chair snickering and giggling. For the rest of the appointment.

Which is not the best thing to do when you're talking to a therapist about your marriage. In my defense, the therapy session was pretty much a mute point anyway. We have already made it through the past two month's were he accidentally (sort of...I told him that it would suck, but it didn't think it would suck THAT bad, so he went ahead and scheduled everything. Halfway through he realized I was right, he scheduled too much and it really DID suck, but was already committed) scheduled an amazing amount of crap one after another. Needless to say his presense in the home (both physically AND emotionally, the latter being the part that irked me) was a little lacking. So we're done with all that, he's once again the present and helpful husband that I married (though I'm still a crazy loon and will continue therapy for some time on my own).

So going into this meeting, we were kind of relaxed because...well, everything had already been fixed.

So when she started asking Chris about his work , he started explaining the constantly changing aspect of it and how he likes it that way because he is "psyc-lik" like that. He meant cyclic. I totally got that.

She didn't though....just raised her eyebrows and asked him to explain what that meant, serious as can be.

Which is when I lost it. And never regained control. I hope we don't have to talk about that when I'm in next week.

In other news, it was spa day at MOPS. I got my eyebrows waxed (for the first time ever.....but don't go thinking I was a big uni-brow mess before today, I can assure you I was not!) a massage and did a yoga-ish stretching session with some sports therapist guy.

Which led me to another bout of uncontrollable snickering and giggling. Most of the moves he demonstrated were followed by an "advanced level" of the move. You know, something fast and wild looking. And they were all kind of funny...wild arms flapping around thing.

But then we got to stretching the umm...pelvic region. As we're all standing on one leg trying to stretch our pelvic muscles, trying desparately not to fall over, I joke with the mom next to me about the advance move for that one, thinking surely.....surely there would be none.

Oh but there was. There was. Gyration like I have never seen before (in a church no less!). I had to turn my back and fake a coughing fit as to not reveal myself as the immature goofball that I really am. After all, I don't know these ladies very well yet.

I'm pretty sure that no one was fooled.

Baby Saying Big Words

Here's a video showing off my family at their best.

Celia is a little parrot who will repeat anything she hears, so we're taking advantage of it to get her to say some funny big words. Until she starts stripping off her pants.

Jordan is feeding the words to her and cackling like a hyena in the background.

Chris makes an appearance in the end to say "Hey, I don't think you were recording"

Umm, yeah, I was.

"Honey, Don't Stand Still Too Long...

....or your butt crack will get stuck shut."

Huh? This is what my husband says to me as I'm putting up tile in the bathroom (that's right, after 4 months we're FINALLY ready to tile the shower).

"Don't stand still too long or your butt crack will get stuck shut"

"What the heck are you talking about?" What the heck IS he talking about? This is just another example of my, working hard, and him, staring at my butt.

"Umm, you've got some of that white goop (mastic) right...well...on your butt crack. I don't want that to freeze shut on you."

Thank hon. Thanks. We should probably let everyone know this is a hazard of laying tile....butt crack adhesion.

He makes it sound like I'm laying tile in the nude....let me assure you I'M NOT!

I did make a very bad choice and wore my new black yoga pants....boy I hope that stuff comes out!

I did have him take some pictures of my butt...but honestly, it looked a little too fluffy to post on the internet. So use your imagination. And make it look good for goodness sake!

Anyway, here are some harmless pictures of us working in the bathroom.

Here I am, squished into a little corner of our little tiny bathroom (5x8). Take note of how I level up that bottom row if tile. That's right, a couple shims, some craft sticks. It's a new technique. I'm thinking of patenting it.



I got the bottom row on and straight and much of it up. My knees were getting stiff from being folded for suck a long time....plus Chris was itching to do something other than hand me tile. So I gave him a turn.




He quickly decided that he was "no good at spreading the goop" (his words, not mine). So I put the mastic on the wall and he stuck the tile up there.

Just like Celia and her stickers.

Why we have a home security system....

It's been requested that I share this story....because honestly...it is pretty funny. Now.

We own a very nice home security system. It's an anomaly really, in our quiet, safe little town. Lots of people around here still don't lock their doors. But we now have a very nifty home security system, complete with a motion detector that the cats can set off if the band together in some rambunctious kitty playtime.

About 4 years ago, my new husband woke me up in the middle of the night (again) asking me "Did you hear that? What's that noise". He does this at least twice a week, so I told him to leave me alone and go back to sleep.

He doesn't let up though. "Seriously, did you shut our bedroom door? Or turn off the light in the family room?"

Well now, I had to think about it.....because I did have a few brief sleepwalking episodes as a youth...but no, I was pretty sure I hadn't done any of that. Jordan has always been a little skittish in the dark, so we leave a light on in the family room for him. And we never sleep with the bedroom door shut.

So now I'm awake and Chris tells me to listen. Really listen. And sure enough, we heard some rustling. Which could be those stupid cats, but then we hear some drawers opening and shutting. Which is not the cats. (Even the one with the thumbs hasn't mastered opening drawers).

We go into panic mode. I tell Chris to dial 911 and I tiptoe/run through the family room to grab Jordan. He was amazingly well behaved through the whole event. I grabbed him and had him in our bed before he was hardly awake. We whispered to him "Don't make any noise...there's a bad guy in the house!" He burrowed under the covers and didn't make a peep.

Chris whispered to me that the operator was sending police. We can still hear noises coming from downstairs, so I grab the most dangerous thing we own (a Maglite!) and creep to the door at the top of the stairs. I slowly pull the door shut.....but no way am I letting go of that doorknob. I've got the doorknob in one hand and a Maglite hefted over my shoulder in the other. I'm also trying hard not to hyperventilate and praying harder than I ever have in my entire life.

Both boys are on the bed, peering at me. Chris is still on the phone with 911, but we hear the cops arrive and he hangs up (because that's what you do when help is here).

We can hear the police start shouting "Sir, do you live here? Stop where you are, put you hands where we can see them."

Then the unmistakable sounds of a struggle. Chris is freaking out and telling me to get back in the bedroom as he's going to barricade the door, but I'm just frozen there....me and my Maglite, holding the door at the top of the stairs shut.

I hiss at him to call 911 again, and he does....while dragging a dresser over and blocking himself and the boy in the bedroom. The operator informs him that she is sending backup.

Backup? That's not exactly what I want to hear!

Now we can't hear anything from downstairs. Just silence, forever.

Then footsteps on the stairs. Heavy footsteps. And panting.

So when I said I was hyperventilating and praying before....yeah...more of that again.

Eventually this person gets to the other side of my door. He knocks and calls out "Police, are you all okay? Open the door."

I (not so politely) respond "slide you ID under the door."

We then proceed to have an insane conversation that police are not allowed to carry ID, that I should really open the door for him, and I'm telling him that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Finally, this man (who does happen to be a cop) sighed and says "Ma'am, I took a shot of pepper spray to the face and I'm going to go outside and throw up now. I'll send someone else up to check on you and your family"

He does send up another very nice officer, and we creep out of our upstairs. We call Chris's parents, who are here in no time. None of us can be downstairs for any amount of time because just the pepper spray fumes from the officer's clothing make us cough and gag. They have us come out on the porch to see if we know the intruder (we do not) and I apologize to the poor officer who's just finished puking in the bushes. We find out later his arm was broken in the struggle (and most of the pins and badges from his uniform are lost forever under our porch).

The miscreant that they caught was just going out the back door when the police arrived. He had my son's backpack (homework included) slung over one shoulder and our bucket of spare change in the other arm. Into the backpack he had thrown an array of stuff including: social security cards, Chris's passport, Chris's wallet, power screwdriver, wrenches and other assorted tools, trumpet mouthpieces (?!?), and our video camera.

Turns out this guy is a registered sex offender. Before we woke up, he had been in our bedroom and most likely in our son's room. I really think that God kept our family safe that night....because we had the best possible outcome of a very scary situation.

So there you have it. Now when my husband wakes me up at night with his breathless "Did you hear that, What was that noise" I do at least give a little listen before I tell him to let me sleep.

The story is really much more funny if you have us tell it in person...because we're the crazy kind of couple that like to demonstrate much of the action. Invite us to your next party, we'll provide the entertainment.

Random Things I Find Amusing

Not much so say about my day. We took Jordan to a new dentist in an effort to get a few fillings done and talk about orthodontic work. The decision was made that next visit we're going to dope him up and do everything that needs done at once. He's really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the $800 we have to pay out of pocket for the "doping up". It's not covered by our insurance. Apparently, you are supposed to hold your kid down and increase his already enormous amount of dental anxiety while he gets a tooth pulled. Don't even get me started on the price of orthodontics. So here are some random links....

You can lead a panda to porn, but you can't make her procreate.

Keith Richards snorts his father.

What Chris and his pal Kevin do at work all day.

Alanis and her lovely lady lumps (much thanks to The Film Geek for this little gem. I laughed all afternoon):

Mike and Ike, we think alike!

We capped off our little trip to Charleston with a shopping trip at the Charleston Town Center Mall. I usually hate the mall and avoid it like the plague, but I always like going when we are staying in Charleston.

Anyway, hubby had a Jos Banks giftcard to spend and I wanted to look around in Gymboree to see if maybe I'm missing something (I decided I'm not...which is good because those are some pricey little clothes!). We also decided to hit Sears and check out the show clearance (I'd heard some good things) as we all really needed some new casual shoes. We found Jordan a pair of shoes then decide to split up and look for our own since Celia was getting impatient. I found a really cute pair of brown Land's End shoes and grabbed those up then went to help hubby with his. He found two pair he liked, tried them on, even had me feel for his toes to make sure they were good. They were, and we came home.

We get here and I'm unpacking everything. I take all the new shoes out and find that we have bought the EXACT same shoes.


Yeah. We have matching shoes now. If you know anything about me at all, you'll know that I hate to look like any other person (especially if it looks like we may have "planned" it). Unfortunately.....these shoes are really comfortable. And Chris and I don't plan well, so we will probably end up wearing them at the same time. Please snicker where I can't hear you and keep your snide comments to yourself.

I will say the Embassy Suites really didn't score any points with me. I took the kids down to the pool after dinner. The changing area was NASTY. I couldn't even take Celia with me and had to have Jordan stand in the hall and hold her while I changed at breakneck speed. Then we walked into the pool area to find no less than 25 screaming, splashing kids and only 10 parents. Only 1 other parent in the pool (besides me). Jordan jumped right in and commenced screaming and splashing, but Celia and I were totally overwhelmed. We sat on the steps the whole time. Now, I know the Embassy really has no control over that.....but they do have control over these next few things....which I almost hate to share with you because I'm just now getting over the anxiety caused by them.

After about half the kids left, security showed up and milled around for about 5 minutes. I figured they were there because someone had complained about unattended kids, so I didn't think much. After much discussion and milling around, one of them stepped up and asked if we could all get out of the pool for a few minutes while they cleaned up a "little mess".

Uhhhh, what? So I had to go find out what exactly was going on. Someone threw up in the pool.

Gross, nasty, blech, and any other noise of revulsion you can imagine. And they didn't even close the pool! I know there were probably enough chemicals in there to kill anything (including most of my outer later of skin) but for the sheer gross out factor, you need to close it down and shock that sucker.

Anyway, took my kids back to the room and scrubbed what was left of their skin right off of them and discovered a very nasty patch of mildew in the shower. Come on folks, make an effort!

I was also not impressed with the breakfast. I know, you really can't complain about free (well, not free, but included in the price of the room) breakfast....but I'd rather pay for the very nice breakfast you can get at the Marriott.

All in all, it was a very nice trip. I'm exhausted and still trying to shake off the "I've been around puke" anxiety, but I'm also refreshed and ready to start my week.

And I'm ready to lose some weight! I've been telling myself that I'm going to drop at least 5 lbs (and hopefully more like 10) before swimsuit season rolls around....and look, here it is. I was not happy with my new, chubby look in my swimwear this weekend, so I vow to drop some weight before I have to wear it again!

Hubby needs a blog and Celia-isms.

Looks like Chris is ready to jump on the blog train. He's seen how much fun I'm having with my blog and wants to get in on the blogging fun himself. Plus his good friend Mikey has a cool blog, and Chris wants a cool blog too. All that's holding him back is a name. He just doesn't know what to call the thing. I'm no help, because as you can tell I'm not that good with coming up with creative, catchy names. I did ask him what his blog would be about....radio, computers, sports, recording, personal. His reply was "yeah, all of that". Suggestions anyone?

Some cute things Celia has been up to lately:

My personal favorite: All it takes to elevate me to heavenly status in her eyes is a towel on my head after my shower. Then I immediately become "Angel Mommy". For at least an hour, every request is posed in the sweetest voice "Can I have a drink, Angel Mommy"

The new shocker: "Noy noy". Noy noy is her phrase for anything she doesn't know the word for. Last week, we were playing the name that body part game in the tub and she let me know exactly where her "noy noy" was. I then explained what exactly that part was and she ran around the house screaming "va-GI-na" at everything that moved. Then while visiting friends, immediately after I shared the noy noy story, she walked up to a woman can caller her "Noy noy". Sorry about that. She wasn't calling you a vagina. She just didn't know your name.

Um um um um um um. The standard reply to any open ended question. You've just got to give this girl a choice, or else she's overwhelmed.

When asked "What's your favorite animal" she replies "Bubby is. He's a puma"

Diagram of a Marriage

Woohoo! I figured out how to work the scanner. But just to scan things in...not make them readable or anything.

So in our Wednesday night small group study we've been doing a great book "Fit to be Tied. Making Marriage Last a Lifetime". A few weeks ago out take home assignment was to draw a picture of your spouse before marriage, and another of them as they are now. It was a really hard assignment for us....because we haven't really changed that much. It's only been three years.

Obviously, neither one of us has ANY artistic talent. We're musicians, so that's okay.

Here we have Chris's diagram. He just had gotten back into town about 15 minutes before church, so he was a little rushed.


On the before picture he has draw an arrow to my heart and written "Lost and Lonely, waiting for the love of her life". Thanks hon. I wouldn't put it that way......but props to you anyway.

He also remembered that I had long hair when we got married. This isn't hard to remember since I only cut it off a few months ago.

On the after picture we have my new butch haircut and another arrow to my heart saying "No longer lonely".

Here's mine. I had a little more time....but still no artistic talent.

First off, notice on the before picture the proportion of work to home. He worked a lot before we got married. That ratio has started slipping in the past year....but not by his choice. Hopefully things will slack off soon and he won't be so busy all the time!

The thought bubble on the before reads "Sure, I'll produce that game, and fix that problem, and travel". On the after it reads "Let me ask my wife". Like I said, he doesn't commit himself to as many projects....and usually runs the extra stuff by me first.

We've got another arrow pointing to clothes. On the before it reads "Nice clothes and endless dry cleaning budget". On the after "Occasionally wrinkled clothes as wife cut dry cleaning budget and hates to iron". Isn't that a sad fact. He's still a pretty snazzy dresser though.

Another arrow to the show. Before "Nice Shoes". After "Decent shoes. Wife deemed shoe fetish unnecessary". Sorry, but that man just had too many pairs or leather shoes! And I'm scary cheap.

Small arrow to the belly area indicating lack of home cooked food before marriage.

Don't forget to notice the Blackberry in his hand in the after picture. I couldn't figure out how to draw it attached to his head.

Lastly, the arrows to the house. Before "Very messy house. Several rooms entirely closed off to the public and designated as junk rooms". After - "Clean house though frequently cluttery. On occasional cheerio on the floor since the little one came along" This refers to our ongoing discussion over clutter vs dirt. I can't stand dirt. Sticky counters, dusty furniture....and I must be able to vacuum. He hates dishes in the sink and stuff sitting out....but out of sight out of mind in his book, so it's okay to shove stuff places and forget about it. We actually balance each other out pretty well here. I don't let him fill up rooms and closets with useless stuff that belongs in the trash.....and I try to keep stuff picked up so he's not coming home and "angry cleaning".

So you can clearly see that these diagrams, like most of our relationship, are pretty goofy. And we kind of like it that way.

Will the real Dad-D please stand up?

Or at least raise your arm on statewide tv like a goof so the kids can spot you?

Oh he will, have no doubt!

Chris has been in Charleston all week producing the radio broadcast of the girls state basketball tournament. It's Saturday night, he's been gone for 5 days, and mom is at the end of her rope. Not that the kids have been bad or anything, but this week has just creeped by and it seemed to take forever. So we turned the game on (the championship game is televised) to see if we could catch a glimpse of him.

We know from previous years that he is one of the ten or so guys sitting courtside at a long table with a computer. Since they are facing the game, and we are facing the game, all we see are shoulders and the backs of heads. It's pretty hard to ID a person on that.

But we're watching and speculating. Infamous quote from Jordan:

"There, that's him in the green shirt. Wait, I think Dad has more hair than that!"

So we took a chance and called the Blackberry. He had a minute and picked up....we learned that Dad is wearing a blue shirt. Not much help...most of them are wearing blue shirts.

So he agrees to throw his arm in the air the next time the camera zooms past (he can see a tv feed). He does, and it's really hilarious. Everyone is intent on the game (you know, the twenty or so people that actually are at the game) except this one loon....who keeps throwing an arm in the air! That's my husband!

A few minutes later a friend stops by to drop of cinnamon rolls (don't I have the greatest friends?!?). She said they had been looking for Chris as well so I told them to call and make him do the arm trick again.

About those cinnamon rolls....she got the recipe off The Pioneer Woman site. It is by far my favorite blog ever....if you haven't checked it out yet, you really should. And then you can see a picture of the delicious cinnamon rolls I'm going to be eating for breakfast. If you're nice, I may make you some for Christmas. If not, then I'll just post tons of pictures of my family eating them and make you wish you had some. Or you could just make them yourself. But definately check out the Pioneer Woman. She's great!

Look what we got.

That's right. It's a lava lamp. The generous people at Google sent it to my husband to compensate him for long hours away from his family and middle of the night phone calls while Beta testing some new radio software. We also got a large supply of very nice clicky pens.

So we ate dinner last night all watching this thing in anticipation. The kids just didn't seem to understand that it would take some time to warm up and work properly. Finally after baths, the kids oohed and ahhed over it, then went to bed.

Chris and I spent a nice evening on the couch, speculating on the water problems and watching Bruce Almighty. Which we both agree is a serious funny movie.

Movie ends and I walk into the bedroom.....and what do you think I find? That darn lava lamp. And my husband.....you could just about hear the porn music emanating from his head. Not really.....but he I'm pretty sure he did really think that lime green lava lamp was a nice addition to the bedroom I have slowly been decorating for the past year. I don't think he was messing with me on that account. And being that he had the look of a child whose drawing didn't make it on the fridge when I mentioned it did not fit with the look I was going for.....it looks like I may have to live with it in there for quite awhile. I'm telling you honey, it would look way better in the playroom. Or the basement. Lava lamps look GREAT in basements. I'm pretty sure that's the room they were designed for! But if you really want it to stay in the bedroom....I will grudgingly find a way to fit it in. Our friends may wonder though....

Celia has been quietly playing as I've been typing this. Then she crawled up on the couch with me and I noticed a particularly nasty odor about her. I endured it while she used her cute little Yoda way of talking to tell me about what she had "Surprise for you in my purse I do have mommy!" I'm trying not to breathe as she pulls one thing after another out of the purse, showing them to me one at a time. Finally as the purse is empty she said "I have a surprise poop for you too!" Sorry honey.....it wasn't that big of a surprise.

The Man, the Myth, the Great Chris Moran

In honor of Valentine's Day, let me introduce you to my husband. Here we are on our wedding day....a pose I know he wishes we'd strike more often! He's pretty understanding of my usual "everyone stay out of my personal space attitude". However you want to look at it, either I got really lucky or I chose really well....in any case I ended up with a pretty good guy. I think what first attracted me to him was his amazing amount of talent (well, after the physical cuteness). He one of those musical people who can play ANY instrument pretty well, and about half of them better than anyone I've ever known. (Thankfully, that talent does not extend to the flute....the only one I can play! Being better than me at that may have worked against him!) Since he can both read music and play by ear, he can play anything that you want or comes to his mind. While we were dating, he used to play "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" and make up silly words to it. He still doesn't know all of the word to any song!

Then I learned that he had a super cool radio job! I've learned since then (since he still works with the radio station, just in a different area) that the job does have it's down points (he's basically the only person in his company who know how to do what he does...which makes him very valuable and highly overworked) it's still pretty cool and has some nice perks. Plus (an this came as a real surprise to me) he's REALLY smart. Possibly even smarter than me ~gasp~! I'm not sure why that came as such a shocker to me, since I never thought he was stupid (I have no patience for stupidity) but I guess you just get used to the goofy, everyday face of a person that when they display something new (like extraordinary intelligence), it comes as a surprise!

Now that we've had kids, I get to see a side of him I didn't see when we were dating. He's a complete goofball. Both kids know this and when the want a laugh, dad is where they go. Through the blur of the picture, you can see how happy Celia is to run laps around him with her stroller. He barely flinches when she wacks his leg. Jordan looks to him for all source of bodily humor and as a gaming partner. Dad is an xbox genius on everything except Lego Star Wars. (He just falls asleep while playing that particular game). Jordan has also learned that while mom might be able to teach you all the rules and techniques of things like soccer, it's way more fun to play with dad.....even when he won't follow the rules.

Both kids also know who the softie is around here and who they can wrap around their finger. Celia has discovered that good ole dad can NOT refuse a sweet little plea to "sleep in my bed" and exercises this new found right more than is good for her. Jordan has discovered that dad usually lets you eat a lot more junk food than mom (with the exception of gum. I used to be the gum supplier around here, since Chris is terrified of choking kids. Then we had the gum in the hair and gum on the wall incident last summer and it's banned in the house). Dad also never says crazy things like "turn that video game off, it's melting your brain" like mom might. My personal favorite is that for whatever reason, Jordan now prefers that Dad be present when there is any kind of puking to be done. Can't tell you how sad I am to lose THAT job!

There he is......and I'm off to make him some brownies for Valentine's Day. If you see him, please remind him that today IS Valentine's Day.....