Cows on the Interstate.

Not free roaming on the interstate, riding in a trailer. But we got to follow them all the way to Walmart, and thank goodness for that.

See, I'm not the only crabby lady around here. Celia is also mean, crabby, and generally out of control. She's got a pretty good excuse....she is trying to grow some new molars. I, on the other hand, I'm just growing some extra padding around my hips from the excessive amount of chocolate and ice cream that it takes to get me just through the day at this point.

So my crabby mini-me is strapped in her seat, yelling first about her lack of a sippy cup, then her inability to remove and replace her bug boots, then that her hands hurt (well stop chewing them!) and only stopping short of spinning her head completely around on her shoulders.

I'm in the front seat, seething with crabbiness at even having to take a toddler to Walmart and wondering if I should just drive the extra 20 minutes to Target (I'll save you another Walmart rant and just say I should have driven the extra 20 minutes).

Then we pull up behind some cows.

Hallelujah!

Because while we are both mean and crabby girls, we both still see the humor in cows being trucked along at 60 mph. They even got off our exit! We got to sit behind them at the stoplight and talk to the cows, laugh as those poor sweet cows wiggled and jiggled and tried to keep their balance around the turns.

Thank you God, for cows....and thank you cows, for just being cows. Moo y'all.

And now I have a therapist.

I went to my first appointment with a therapist today and came away pretty happy with the whole thing. Mostly because I was terrified she would recommend I see a doctor and get some pills right away and I'm terrified of taking antidepresssants. Much to my surprise she did not do that, in fact she told me she doesn't think I need them. Whew, that's a load off.

She does talk therapy, seems like a very nice lady. She's going to help me learn to deal with stress, which in turn will make me less crabby, weepy, and overall more pleasant to be with. Woohoo.

Several funny things from my morning so far to share.....the first from my appointment. During the first part of the appointment it was basically a background question and answer session. She asked for the date, and I actually knew it was the 4th of April, so I didn't mind helping her out with that. Then she asked me what year is was and I thought "Hey now, where has this lady been...maybe shes taking a few too many pills"....

Yeah, she was just testing me to see if I knew what year it was! Which is pretty funny to me (and made me feel good, because I passed that one with flying colors!)

Then, on the way home I drove past a co-ed wrapped (not to tightly I might add) in a bright red towel, sitting (that's right, sitting not too demurely) on her porch smoking. I'm not a smoker, so I don't really understand...but I am glad that I'm not having the kind of morning that makes you say "No time for pants, I need a cigarette!"

Random Things I Find Amusing

Not much so say about my day. We took Jordan to a new dentist in an effort to get a few fillings done and talk about orthodontic work. The decision was made that next visit we're going to dope him up and do everything that needs done at once. He's really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the $800 we have to pay out of pocket for the "doping up". It's not covered by our insurance. Apparently, you are supposed to hold your kid down and increase his already enormous amount of dental anxiety while he gets a tooth pulled. Don't even get me started on the price of orthodontics. So here are some random links....

You can lead a panda to porn, but you can't make her procreate.

Keith Richards snorts his father.

What Chris and his pal Kevin do at work all day.

Alanis and her lovely lady lumps (much thanks to The Film Geek for this little gem. I laughed all afternoon):

Mike and Ike, we think alike!

We capped off our little trip to Charleston with a shopping trip at the Charleston Town Center Mall. I usually hate the mall and avoid it like the plague, but I always like going when we are staying in Charleston.

Anyway, hubby had a Jos Banks giftcard to spend and I wanted to look around in Gymboree to see if maybe I'm missing something (I decided I'm not...which is good because those are some pricey little clothes!). We also decided to hit Sears and check out the show clearance (I'd heard some good things) as we all really needed some new casual shoes. We found Jordan a pair of shoes then decide to split up and look for our own since Celia was getting impatient. I found a really cute pair of brown Land's End shoes and grabbed those up then went to help hubby with his. He found two pair he liked, tried them on, even had me feel for his toes to make sure they were good. They were, and we came home.

We get here and I'm unpacking everything. I take all the new shoes out and find that we have bought the EXACT same shoes.


Yeah. We have matching shoes now. If you know anything about me at all, you'll know that I hate to look like any other person (especially if it looks like we may have "planned" it). Unfortunately.....these shoes are really comfortable. And Chris and I don't plan well, so we will probably end up wearing them at the same time. Please snicker where I can't hear you and keep your snide comments to yourself.

I will say the Embassy Suites really didn't score any points with me. I took the kids down to the pool after dinner. The changing area was NASTY. I couldn't even take Celia with me and had to have Jordan stand in the hall and hold her while I changed at breakneck speed. Then we walked into the pool area to find no less than 25 screaming, splashing kids and only 10 parents. Only 1 other parent in the pool (besides me). Jordan jumped right in and commenced screaming and splashing, but Celia and I were totally overwhelmed. We sat on the steps the whole time. Now, I know the Embassy really has no control over that.....but they do have control over these next few things....which I almost hate to share with you because I'm just now getting over the anxiety caused by them.

After about half the kids left, security showed up and milled around for about 5 minutes. I figured they were there because someone had complained about unattended kids, so I didn't think much. After much discussion and milling around, one of them stepped up and asked if we could all get out of the pool for a few minutes while they cleaned up a "little mess".

Uhhhh, what? So I had to go find out what exactly was going on. Someone threw up in the pool.

Gross, nasty, blech, and any other noise of revulsion you can imagine. And they didn't even close the pool! I know there were probably enough chemicals in there to kill anything (including most of my outer later of skin) but for the sheer gross out factor, you need to close it down and shock that sucker.

Anyway, took my kids back to the room and scrubbed what was left of their skin right off of them and discovered a very nasty patch of mildew in the shower. Come on folks, make an effort!

I was also not impressed with the breakfast. I know, you really can't complain about free (well, not free, but included in the price of the room) breakfast....but I'd rather pay for the very nice breakfast you can get at the Marriott.

All in all, it was a very nice trip. I'm exhausted and still trying to shake off the "I've been around puke" anxiety, but I'm also refreshed and ready to start my week.

And I'm ready to lose some weight! I've been telling myself that I'm going to drop at least 5 lbs (and hopefully more like 10) before swimsuit season rolls around....and look, here it is. I was not happy with my new, chubby look in my swimwear this weekend, so I vow to drop some weight before I have to wear it again!

Eggstravaganza!

Day 2 of our little mini-vacation here. We got up this morning and spent some more time at the Marriott's pool.

Then, on the sage advice of Stanton (who I don't actually know, except through the WV Blogger's Forum), we decided to check out the Avampato Discovery Museum at the Clay Center. I almost didn't go because today was "Eggstravaganza" so there were tons of extra Easter activities....which made me think every kid in Charleston would be there.

Really though, it wasn't that crowded and it was a great place! The kids both got to do a little egg hunt then we checked out all the other cool stuff they have (year round) for kids. Both of mine had a blast. I will say, that while it wasn't completely over-run with unruly kids....there were enough brats there to make me roll my eyes half way into my brain.

I'll just tell you straight out....I like kids. Just not your kids. Well, maybe not YOUR kids exactly, but most of the other kids running around. When an area says ages 5 and under, your 7 year old better not be in the ball pit whacking my toddler with balls. Just because your kid is 2 and cute, does not give them the right to smack my 9 year old in the face through the funny pin things...then laugh and run while you pay no attention. Also, please stop letting your child run screaming through the halls outside my room until they run smack into my window and scream even louder while you catch up. Because my kids are trying to quietly rest in here and I will be very unhappy if you wake them up.

Which brings me to our new digs.....Embassy Suites. It's an okay place, but it's not the Marriott.

There are some very nice things about it....one, well, it's a suite. That means Celia can nap away in the bedroom while Jordan and I lounge, read, and watch tv in the other room. It's got a mini fridge and a microwave, which may come in handy later. It's also a very beautiful place. It just looks very nice and classy.

Now.....the bathroom amenities leave something to be desired. You've just got the basics here...and they are Neutrogena. Not bad, but not the Orange Ginger from Bath and Body Works that we had over at the Marriott. That was some good stuff!

Also, (and this makes me gag to even type it) I found old coffee grounds in the coffee pot when I went to make tea just now. Ew, ew, gross. What kind of housekeeping is that? The tea they offer is also bargain basement stuff (Marriott had some English Breakfast and Chamomile), just like the coffee. There is not any cream here either, just that nasty powder stuff.

All of the outlets are upside down...so my MacBook couldn't be plugged in. There is no wireless, and I spent about 45 minutes trying to post my blog I typed up last night on the MacBook from hubby's PC. He didn't want the WVBA to have to pay for another connection. But his PC can't read Word documents from my Mac (my Mac can read anything from the PC though). That's all the time that took me to be thoroughly frustrated with a PC again. I mean really, why would you put all the ports on the back? Who wants to reach behind and fish around to plug and unplug things?

Lastly, the soundproofing leaves a little to be desired. I mentioned earlier he crazy screaming toddler in the hall. I also get to hear the evenings entertainment in the lobby (the center of the hotel is an open-air atrium, straight up the 14 or so floors). There's a grand piano down there, and someone is quiet dramatically making their way through every cliche song you can imagine (New York NY, Entertainer, Phantom). I'm just waiting on the Billy Joel. The player also has a large group of admirers who hoot, clap, and occasionally sing along.

Oh geez...he's repeating New York. Does this mean I'll have to listen to the same five songs all night? Please, someone teach the man some Prokofiev. Something.....

But, what ever the Embassy is lacking, the West Virginia Broadcasters Association is making up for. They plied us with cookies and soft pretzels, sodas and drinks. Since I'm not going to the awards tonight, they are sending my up a very nice fillet and meal. (The kids will be enjoying pizza) And hubby brought up a very fancy surge protector, which will plug into these messed up outlets and in turn power my MacBook. We are set for the evening! Plus, there's a new hotel pool to check out.

I Love the Marriot

I really do.

Every time we come here I find something new to enjoy. This visit, I discover they’ve expanded the complimentary items in the bathroom. Now, instead of your shampoo, conditioner, soap, and lotion……we also have mouthwash, Q-Tips, a shower cap, and the cutest little sewing kit.

I think I’m most excited about that shower cap. That baby is definitely coming home with us! It could really come in handy in case my kids every catch lice and I have to smear their little heads with goop for hours at a time. Now, my kids have never gotten lice…..but it’s possibly and something I worry about on at least a weekly basis. My head is itching just thinking about it! So that shower cap may come in handy!

They did not choose to include the one item my husband forgot to bring…deoderant. I caught him snickering as he stole mine. Stood right in front of me and fluffed his armpot hair before applying me pristine deodorant to it. Blech. Marriot…..could you put a little deodorant in the bathroom for my surprise next time? I’d really love you for it!

The also did not include a tranquilizer dart for my toddler. That would have come in really handy too. Putting a two year old to sleep in a new room in the same bed as her brother is not the easiest task. Finally, after several threats about the pool from mommy, she settled down and went to sleep. Unfortunately for Jordan, this girl hates blankets. I mean, we train babies that blankets are evil. “Lay on your back and not blankets for a year, they could kill you!” Then one day we change our story, “Here, cover up with this so your don’t freeze to death!” Too late. Her little baby legs are already trained. They piston up and down in a wild defensive mechanism to keep that dangerous blanket away from her neck. She won’t have anything to do with the things! Which is a real bummer for anyone else who IS trying to sleep under the blanket beside her.

Another discovery, not so pleasant this time. The pool is 94 degrees. Barely 7 degrees cooler than the hot tub. Also known as the perfect tempature to breed bacteria. My kids love to swim in the hotel pool, but it makes me feel like I’m marinating in human stew. Thank goodness it’s way chlorinated, or else we’d all go home with pink eye and who know what other nasty infections.

Anyway, we are having a great trip this far. We swam in the pool for a few hours then went to Red Lobster for dinner. Jordan was very happy as they had both clams and smoothie. Celia just loves to eat out….and this place has a big tank of those lobsters to watch, so she was in toddler heaven! Then dad’s food came an he was eating a lobster tail, which really perplexed her. She really wanted to know where the rest of the lobster was and kept saying “Show me the claw dad!”

She also really wanted to play with the lobster tail, but since she tested positive as being allergic to shrimp, we’re avoiding all contact with shellfish, just to be safe. Nasty parents that we are……we’ll still eat the stuff though.

Her allergies are the reason I’m up at 3 in the morning. She has this thing called Reactive Airway Disease…which doesn’t mean she has asthma…..it just means when her allergies are bothering her, she has asthma symptoms. She started a few days ago and we started her back on her meds (Singulair and Zyrtec), but it takes a few days for them to start working effectively. Hopefully this will be the last night of coughing all night long (which is a major sign of childhood asthma. We didn’t know this and were perplexed for the longest time about it.) I don’t know how she (and the rest of my family) sleep through it, but they do. I cringe every time she has a coughing fit….and sometimes I’ll lay with her and thump her on the back for long periods of time…..just so I can feel like I’m doing something.

Well it's about Time!

Sorry about having no fresh blogs! My sleeplessness reached a level where I couldn't remember anything slightly entertaining that has happened for the past few days....and even if I could remember it I couldn't coherently string it together in a sentence.

So last night I took matters into my own hands.....I spiked my own drink.

We have nothing against alcohol, we (well, the grownups in my home) drink it when we're out. We just don't drink it much at home. The only thing I had available was some Malibu Rum. And the only things we had to mix it with were ice tea, cranberry juice, Kool-Aid, and hot tea. I ruled out the ice tea as gross (Malibu has coconut flavoring, in case you didn't know) and the cranberry juice for the same reason. I can't even drink straight cranberry juice and water that stuff down like you wouldn't believe. The Kool-Aid might have been alright, but I deemed that as pathetic (do adults mix liquor and Kool-Aid?) so all that was left was my usual cup of Chamomile tea. I dumped in a modest amount of Malibu with my cream.

It was pretty nasty. Really nasty to tell you the truth. But I was asleep by midnight and didn't wake until this morning!

I took all my new found and well rested energy outside. Celia and I got most of a 4x20 space in the back yard cleared and ready to plant!

We also met a new neighbor. Not all that new, to my surprise. I had no clue anyone lived in the house across the alley. Lo and behold, there is a little boy Jordan's age. He seems like a really nice little dude, I'm just not sure about the whole thing because honestly....we've never had neighbors with kids before. Most on our block are elderly. Our best friends live a couple blocks away....but it's much easier to find out if you like people and want to be friends with them if you have a little space.

Anyway, little dude spotted us from his window and came over to play. Like I said, he's very nice. Polite, well spoken...no bratty attitude. But he does want to come over. And he does want to play. Can he play on the porch? What about in the house? Can he stay for dinner? I finally tell little dude "maybe after I've met your mom".

Fast forward 10 minutes and I meet mom...complete with purse and car keys. She has to run an errand, can little dude stay and play?

Anyway, I'm sure that once the newness wears off he won't be in our yard every second that we are outside all summer...right?

Geez I'm anti-social! It looks so bad when I type it out. I'd so like to be friendly with our neighbors.....but say "hi" in passing stop by once a week friendly...not in your yard 24/7 friendly. But I don't even know these people (who really seem quite nice!) so why am I even assuming or worried that they will do that anyway?!?!?

It was nice actually. My friend stopped over with her boy and toddler (and mom) to watch the game. The boys went out and played soccer in the yard with new little dude and we sat and talked, watched the girls play. We'd peek out the window at them to make sure everything was fine, and it always was. We got to watch the game (okay, they watched the game....I probably annoyed them with my "Ahhh, I'm in the presence of other women" chatting. Such is the price you pay for trying to watch basketball at my house!).

Okay...I'm just going to say it. It's bad. But it's what I'm thinking...

What kind of mom leaves her 8 year old with a perfect stranger?!?! It's one thing to let him play in a neighbor's yard (that you've never met) and another to LEAVE him with her! I could be a psychopath (please don't point out that I sound like one now) for goodness sake! Are they comfortable leaving their offspring with psychopaths because they are also psychopaths?!?!

I'm also going to point out that the 6-foot privacy fence we put up does crap with they can see in out yard from their second story windows. There's no hiding in your backyard if your neighbors REALLY want to come over and play.

Really though....a kid that sweet and well behaved can't come from psychopaths...can he?

In other news....I have an appointment with a therapist next week. One baby step for me in my "put on the normal face for company" facade.....hopefully one giant leap in the over sanity of my household.